Author: Anshuman Rawat

“Yeh duniya ek rangmanch hai babu moshai”, Rajesh Khanna had so memorably told Amitabh in the cult classic Anand. But Neel Shah is not sure if Khanna had in mind the breed of ‘Gurubhai’ who’ve made a career out of turning this world into a farcical stage.

The problem with the rat race is that even if you win the race, you’re still a rat. Add to it the fact that we don’t seem to be winning the race anyway. As Calvin, of the Hobbes fame, would have said for the situation – rats!

One way to be out of the rat race is to change our species! Yeah, for all we know, we might end up as the undisputed kings and queens of the pig race. Sounds yucky? Well that’s because we are presently at the bottom of the heap. As management philosophers would tell us, if you are at the top, you can throw up a lot of non-sense and there would always be people to clear it up and earn you the credit for their work.

In any case, with the markets opening up and globalization driving most local buses, conventional jobs are no longer ‘happening’. People are venturing into fields that were previously, well, not considered ‘a field’ itself. And yet, there are examples of people prospering in those ‘non-fields’.

When I was in college, all of us used to joke that the way ahead would be to build a temple in the city. After all, we grew up watching stones in the middle of busy roads end up becoming huge temples,  flush with funds, stature & ‘brand equity’. With millions of local and non-resident ‘believers’ leaving behind sacks full of green paper in the ‘Daan Peti’ of all such temples, the ‘return on investment’ would have been handsome and it wouldn’t have been long before we got featured in the Forbes list of world’s most powerful ‘spiritual businessmen’. Hmmm! Sounds almost divine.

Talking of divinity, how can we be too far away from mentioning women. (Hey! Don’t  look at me like that, you woman hater, there are some quirky Gods too, remember?) Yes, I once had, and still have, great interest in studying women’s psychology. I still believe that understanding a woman’s brain is the most difficult, if not impossible, job in the world. Being sure of my feeling being shared by at least half of the planet, I had then thought of opening up a counseling class; and help people get a better idea about the other half of the world. So that they could make informed decisions in life.
But of late, with my dadi and buaji visiting our home frequently and the resulting explosion of religious talks, I have now laid my eyes on the ‘career’ of a so-called dharma or spiritual gurus.

When one ooffice recently, my father did not have a second thought f them had come to our before ‘gifting’ a microwave to him. I learnt about it being a gift when no money every came from the ‘guru’ for the machine. Anyway, with most of them moving around in Mercedes and flying to US and Europe to ‘enlighten their disciples’ I should not shed many tears for a mere microwave. After all, it has gone to a person who is all about renunciation!

All scoffed and endured, the point here is that whether it is about connecting with God or with one’s own inner self or psyche, the process has now, unfortunately, become dotted with ‘consultants’, ‘gurus’ and ‘professional help’. Whereas in an ideal world, one’s own self, family and friends would have played that role. Without making us pay for their worldly desires. And most importantly, without trying to benefit from our emotions.

Children these days grow up much faster than ever before. Unfortunately, they also acquire the curse of adulthood much earlier than earlier. Who would have thought in our childhood that a four year-old boy can fall prey to serious depression, only because one of his mates at the play-school talks faster, runs faster and finishes puzzles faster than him? Unfortunately for him, his parents mistake his blues for reluctance to go to school and fail to see the signals. Today the child’s future is dependent on a long and continuous medical journey.

Normally, clinical depression is a state of intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual’s social functioning and/or activities of daily living.

But if you are a parent or guardian of a child that has been identified with a neurobiological brain disorder (NBD), or mental illness, you would have to go that extra mile to best judge of your child’s special needs and particular strengths – along with the cause and the treatment of the same. It is almost always a long drawn journey.

Neurobiological disorders, neurobiological brain disorders (NBD), and mental illness are terms used for a group of brain disorders that cause disturbances in thinking, feeling, or relating. These disorders result in a substantially reduced capacity for coping with the ordinary demands of everyday life.

If you suspect your child is ill, or if a teacher or your doctor suggests that your child should be evaluated, you should seek a professional’s advice viz. a psychiatric evaluation by a child and adolescent specialist.

Modern day psychiatrists generally believe that all brain disorders have a biological underpinning. These doctors then outline the kind of treatment they believe will be most appropriate for your child. You will want to choose a professional who respects your role and views the family not as part of the child’s problem, but as a strength the child can build on. After all, don’t all parents wish their children good more than anyone else in the world?

Yes, as a parent, you are the first one to notice any changes in the behavioural pattern in your child. By instinct then, you would be the first doctor too. It is imperative for the doctor you choose to understand that truth.

As an extension of the same, exercise the right to ask and make the doctor explain all his assumptions and treatments. Simply because what he or she might be terming unusual or usual for children might not be so for your own child.
If you have been able to get an accurate diagnosis, you are well on your way. Your child’s psychiatrist may offer medication or a combination of medication and psychotherapy. The doctor may suggest that another person (such as a social worker or psychologist (provide the therapy while he overseas the medication. The therapist generally talks extensively with the child about his feelings and conflicts, his current problems, and how to establish good relationships with those around him.

As you see, it eventually builds down to building relationships with the child. Why not you be the first one to build a solid one?

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When to talk to the doctor about your child’s mental health?

Younger Children

• Marked fall in school performance.
• A lot of worry or anxiety, as shown by regular refusal to go to school, go to sleep or take part in activities that are normal for the child’s age.
• Hyperactivity; fidgeting; constant movement beyond regular playing.
• Persistent nightmares.
• Persistent disobedience or aggression (longer than 6 months) and provocative opposition to authority figures.
• Frequent, unexplainable temper tantrums.

Pre-adolescents and Adolescents

• Marked change in school performance.
• Abuse of alcohol and/or drugs.
• Inability to cope with problems and daily activities.
• Marked changes in sleeping and/or eating habits.
• Many complaints of physical ailments.
• Aggressive or non-aggressive consistent violation of rights of others; opposition to authority, truancy, thefts, vandalism.
• Intense fear of becoming obese with no relationship to actual body weight.
• Depression shown by sustained, prolonged negative mood and attitude, often accompanied by poor appetite, difficulty sleeping or thoughts of death.
• Frequent outbursts of anger.

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