Category: Shorts

The following is an extract from I Am Ahmedabad, a collection of short stories

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How does life matter when it can last or be lost owing to the nature of a mere hanging flesh of one’s body?
Surrounded by a berserk mob of 500 knife-brandishing men in the middle of an otherwise busy by lane of old Ahmedabad, he was crying inconsolably. And as the mob quickly moved away from him, it did not seem to matter much to him that he had not pulled up the trousers and underwear that was forcibly pulled down by the mob. He was frightened; he was disgusted; he was lonely and he was crying for death.

I still can’t believe how a 25 year-old, postgraduate Indian who had once dreamt of flying a fighter plane for the Indian Air Force could ever find himself lying in the middle of a road, naked, crying and not wanting to ever get up again.
As we learnt later, the same mob had come to my place – to kill my father and two brothers. Of course, they wanted to kill me too; by raping me. And they sure raped me. Repeatedly. Almost all of them. Till I started bleeding from all over and lost consciousness. They must have thought I had died.

But I did not. Maybe I was not destined to. Maybe I was destined to  live with that naked man who was crying a few streets from us.

“OK beta, I don’t mind your going for a … what do you call it … “

“Funky. Funky means … I mean it’s just funky”

(smiles) “OK. I don’t mind your going for a … funky … hair colour. But are you sure it won’t damage your hair?”

“This is London mom. They know how to do it. It is not some Pol of Ahmedabad”

Daughters always like foreign land more than sons. Maybe because unlike India and its homes, foreign lands give them their own sky to fly. Fortunately, I know that it is only hair colour. Our daughter is almost like us otherwise. Or let’s say that she is like her dad – passionate about science and also fond of writing diaries. I know no one should read anyone’s diaries but both daughter and father are so careless that you bump into their diaries almost everyday. Now of course she is in London for her PG. But she was here till an year ago. And while she was always fun to be with, she somehow, not sure how and why, had borrowed a bit of her father’s cynicism. I had first found that out through her diary:

“Today there were reports of communal clashes from Wadi area of Baroda. My Maasi lives there. Unlike my parents, she and her husband are not of different religions. So, is that good? Maybe; if you are spared by both communities. Maybe not – if both communities gun for you. So what is it about this bloody thing called religion?”

Back then, long after the mob had left him; and long after his tears had dried up, he could do nothing but sit at the same place and stare towards infinity. It was only when a police van came and almost beat him away from the place that he had started walking … aimlessly, towards our street.

Half of the mob had left our place. I think my father and brothers were already butchered by then. I’m not sure though. Amidst the laughter, religious chanting and brandishing of the knives and hockey sticks, I was being pulled into the street in front of the burning homes. I was crying and shouting helplessly. And then I saw him standing at a distance; like a zombie. I shouted towards him for help. Some men immediately turned towards him but did not care much for the shaken, frail young man standing in the corner.

For some time I tried to shake him out of his slumber, as criminals took turn to rape in the name of religion. But soon my voice was gone. What was left was a gaze towards him, reciprocated by that strange, frozen look of his. The longer the moment lasted, the less painful my ordeal became. Now that I can be a little lighter about things, I would say that his frozen presence was almost like a painkiller for my incessantly raped body and soul.

Not sure when my eyes had given up on life around, but when I finally did open my eyes again, he was sitting right at the place where he was standing all through my death. I was too tired and he was still frozen. Not sure how many times I came to life and went back into deep black for the next few hours. But his look towards me was still beyond life.
Finally, when my head finally started feeling the pain below, on the other side of my torn behind, I started crying all over again. For the first time, he looked concerned and scared. He looked around for help, only to find burnt down homes and their laughing memories staring back at him.

And then, gradually, his life came visiting him all over again. He started breaking down. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he looked around to check where life had brought him. With reality hitting him hard, he could not help but pull his hair while crying. And yet, he suddenly realised that I was lying there, in a pool of blood. Naked down till the last breath of my existence. Though crying was now beyond his control, he got very concerned and came rushing to me. He sat down near my face. He tried to speak but all he could do was cry.

It was my turn to give a frozen gaze. I’m not sure how long we were like that, before a police van approached us. But either it could not have been very long or it really was very long. The randomness of the memory sums up our life of that moment completely.

“Take them both to VS hospital. I have talked to the Dean and they will be admitted under his direct care”.

The inspector in-charge happened to be my elder brother’s friend. Someone who I thought would have wanted to marry me. But I came to this world a few years too late for him.

Anyway, it mattered little to us whether the police was friendly or not. Life had said goodbye long back for us to worry about its mere details.

Yes, it made no difference to us both that the police took us for people of the same religion. That the police took us two people who were ‘together’ and that we were put in the same special room of VS Hospital.

God could not have given us a special room amidst a glut of bleeding bodies. It was something human. Something selfish for the love of a fellow human being. As I said, something human.

And that’s why I was scared for him. My elder brother’s friend, the police inspector, might have got tempted to throw him out of the ward and towards the blood-thirsty hyenas of our community. Sacrificing one for your friend would have been human too.

I may have been lifeless but the thought of another death did manage to make my heart beat a little more. With him looking absolutely beyond sense of the moment, there didn’t seem much left in his soul at that moment; but I didn’t want his body to die. I don’t know why.

I still don’t know why and how I could feel for him so much even at the peak of my destruct. Maybe it was because he was the only one with me during my death. Or maybe because he was the only man crying at the dance of destruct. I really don’t know why I had given him a name that was not his.

That saved him from the police inspector, but it might have put him in danger of being ‘short-listed’ by the goons moving inside the hospital, checking the names of the patients.

But as I later found out, I was being unfair to the policeman.

“I know his name is not what you had told me. In any case, to be safe, I neither wrote your true name nor his. I have put money, my card and clothes for you two in the polythene bag. I’m sending you to a friend’s place in Mumbai … “

“And him?”

Taken aback initially, he gets back to his policeman self – “I’ll drop him to the address mentioned in his wallet?”

A very perceptible silence followed that. Before he spoke again: “But our people have burned down his locality”.

At the risk of sounding evil, it almost made me happy!
“Who is he?”

“I don’t know.”

“So, why are you thinking so much about him? He’s not the only sufferer in the city.”

“He was the only one who suffered with me last night”

A long silence engulfed the place again.

“So, what do you want me to do?”

Living with new names and the consequent forged degrees – all honest except the names – in one’s own city can be quite an experience. New names meant new look too, in a new locality, with a new relation. Within three months, we two were about to give up and get back to our respective hells. But I found out that I was pregnant. No, it wasn’t his. We were barely in a state to live like that. It must have been of one or everyone of those satans of that night.

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to have the baby” – I was sure.

He never spoke much. And he didn’t on that occasion too. His look clearly disapproved of my desire. But he was too nice a person to have stopped a lady from having her wish. Or maybe he just did not feel confident enough to stop me. For, till then, we were man and wife only for the society. And survival was the only thing that appealed to the hearts.
Eight months later, we were blessed with a baby girl. And her mere arrival turned him and me into man and wife.

Forever.

We still pray in our own ways. It’s just that the pictures on the walls talk differently with the guests. And as I go through our family album – missing my daughter as I am – I wonder if I would have ever lived this well if I had not spoken on behalf of him to the police inspector. I guess not.

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The following is an extract from I Am Ahmedabad, a collection of short stories

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Ashwin and Ratna were both married for close to eight years. Though their kids were young, they were just old enough to allow the parents a bit more time than a few years ago.

36 year-old Ashwin was a self-employed person, with interest in IT-related consumer white goods. A masters degree holder, he was actually one of Ahmedabad’s biggest franchisee partner of a global IT giant. And yet, his dream was to have an IT firm of his own. With his education, go-getting attitude and a very impressive 6-feet tall, athlete’s personality, Ashwin seemed to making the right inroads into all the places that mattered – financial institutions, dealers market and big corporate clients looking for  more economical solutions for their IT requirements.

31 year-old Ratna, on the other hand, was just a simple commerce graduate. But it never really bothered the ever-smiling girl with a fair skin and flowing waist-length hair. She was more than happy with her husband – and the family life – and never really showed much interest in pursuing a career outside home. Her dream was to be one of the most successful ‘home managers’ of her times. A dream that she had more or less managed to achieve.

That day, Ratna had dozed off while watching the TV when suddenly the doorbell rang.

3:30 PM. Since her son was not expected to be back from his school till 5:00 PM, she knew that it would be Ashwin to make full use of the time.

After getting up from the sofa, she immediately rushed towards the mirror and brought into order her hair and Sari. It had always been like that for both of them. Even after so many years.

She went to the door and opened with a naughty smile. Ashwin, with a laptop carrier hanging from his shoulder, had an even bigger smile. He tried to immediately hug Ratna, but she stopped him before he could even move. The expression on Ratna’s face was a mix of a stern headmistress and an embarrassed lover.

Even though it was a society of independent bungalows beyond the 200-ft Sardar Patel Ring Road, with little or no visual access to other people’s doors because of the trees lining the inner streets, Ashwin and Ratna were always careful of expressing anything at the door.

So, after the usual ritual of being restrained at the entrance, the two entered the house and slowly closed the door behind them. But that was going to be the only slow act of the late afternoon.

Ashwin immediately got hold of Ratna’s hands and folded them behind her with the ease of a big wrestler. Not that Ratna did not try to get her hands free. But not only was Ashwin more powerful but also that Ratna’s heart was more into what Ashwin was going to do next.

Gripping with his left hand both of Ratna’s hand by her wrists, behind her, Ashwin raised his hand and got hold of Ratna’s hand and at one instant both pulled her head behind and pushed her body on to him. As Ratna gave him a look of pain, Ashwin looked back with a wicked smile, both in his eyes and on his lips. When was good-looking evil ever easy to overlook that Ratna could have fought any longer? And, while still in pain, she smiled back at Ashwin. For Ashwin, this was a tiger taming his mate with sheer force. Oh so intoxicating!

An hour later:

Ratna was preparing tea in the kitchen for Ashwin, while he talked to someone on his phone and worked furiously on the laptop in the living room. Even from the distance, Ratna could feel that every passing moment, Ashwin’s tone was getting more agitated. Ratna quickly poured tea in two cups, took some namkeen in a plate and rushed towards Ashwin, who in the meantime was almost shouting at the other person. Ratna put the tray on the table and sat beside Ashwin. She took Ashwin’s right hand between her palms and patted it, almost like a mother trying to calm an agitated child.

Alas! The child was not going to get calm that evening. One of his deals had gone bad and it held the possibility of hurting the chances of his having his own IT Company.

Ashwin got up, apologised to Ratna, took his laptop and rushed out of home for work, again. He did not even wait to have tea that Ratna had prepared.

As Ratna got back in front of TV after closing the door behind Ashwin, she sat down thinking how much she did not want the modern day life of busy professionals. She was happy for her life and pitied the millions of people who spend their lives running between one client and the other. Ashwin too agreed with her philosophy. He used to think that for someone who never gave too much to formal college education, Ratna was always surprisingly learned. Or maybe it was because she was so learned that she did not give too much to college education. Ashwin, however, had dreams to run for. And dreams that made him run; day in day out. But for beautiful stolen moments like this afternoon’s, he might have gone crazy.

But he loved his pursuit; inspite of the effect it was having on his health and emotions. And she loved her peace; inspite of the fact that she never got much respect from the ‘educated and on-their-feet’ women of her bungalow scheme in Bopal. But Ratna was never the one who would fall for the mad race of the entire human race to become a clone of one another.

Anyway, as she put on some music on radio and went to the glass window with the cup of tea in her hand, the droplets on the glass couldn’t help but remember their first meeting on a rainy day in Bopal.

It was two years ago. Their children were both in the same school, in Bopal itself. Aditya was elder than Riya by one year and was in Class 1 while Riya was in Senior KG.

One day, it had suddenly started raining very heavily. And as everyone living in Bopal knows, the season that should be the most romantic one is generally the most torturous one for those living beyond the ring road. Streets get clogged, electricity often becomes erratic and life generally comes at a standstill during a heavy downpour.
Ratna was alone at home those days and she had got very worried about Riya. Since the area around her bungalows had got completely flooded, driving her car to the school did not seem a good idea. But it looked dangerous to even walk through that knee-deep water. Especially the idea of bringing Riya through it. While the school authorities had informed her of taking care of the children in the school till the rain lasted, Ratna looked unsure of things after that. Especially since the rain did not seem to be in any mood to stop that day.

Just then she got a call on her mobile phone. The number was not stored but it of course was of Ashwin.

“I’ve brought along two children. Do you think you can have a look and tell me if they are ours”, Ratna clearly remembered the words from Ashwin that had made her fall for good.

But what she had found even sweeter was the sight of Ashwin standing in the verandah of her bungalow with Aditya in one arm and Riya in the other. All the three were smiling and seemed high on life. While Aditya and Riya were giggling while doing pushing-each-other fight while being in Ashwin’s arms, Ashwin himself was smiling like a radiant Sun amidst the downpour.

It was one of the those Kodak moments that shaped Ratna’s following life.

It was the day that had brought them really close. It was after that day that Ashwin could gather further courage and Ratna could further lower her guard. Life was never the same for them after that. They learned to make maximum use of the moments available to them in today’s present life.

Still sipping tea and looking out of the window, Ratna took a deep breath as she lived back those moments. Just then, she saw Aditya and Riya coming towards her home along with Kavita – her very good friend and Ashwin’s wife.

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The following is an extract from the chapter Reminiscence of the novel / screenplay adaptation Autumn Crocus

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Kim had never thought that someday someone would write something like that for her. Not someone like Brandon anyway. But he did. Life is such; no one knows who means what for whom.

The two keep looking into each other’s eyes. Holding on to each other forever seems to be the only dream they have. Holding on to each other’s hands is what they surely are. As ever, Kim is the one who can’t help but speak:

‘If I’d met you earlier, I would’ve been a different person.’

Brandon smiles, almost patronizingly, and nods in disapproval:

‘If you’d met me earlier, you would’ve wanted me to be a different person.’

Kim smiles. She now loves the way Brandon playfully rakes up her past at every opportunity. She also knows that her smile never fails her. At the worst, it makes Brandon smile too. And that always has been a good platform to start with.

‘Brandon, do you love me?’

Brandon breaks into a big smile, almost a grin. He takes Kim’s hand and kisses it, while still smiling.

‘What is so funny?’

‘Oh no, nothing. I thought it’s good you asked. Or else all my poems for you, all my flowers for you and all my time for you would never have been able to let you know that I love you.’

Brandon grins again.

‘But you’ve never said that to me.’

‘Have you?’

Kim pauses and thinks. Yes, maybe even she’d never said those words to Brandon. Strange, none of us ever used those words, she wonders.

‘Would we be getting married?’

Brandon is taken aback by the suddenness of the proposition. This doesn’t seem to be the right time for the talk, if he were to be asked. He takes a moment or two too many to come up with his answer; and allows Kim to speak up again.

‘You’ll be free in two years anyway.’

Brandon’s face suddenly changes contours. It is a promise broken by Kim. Kim realizes; but allows Brandon to simmer. She wants an answer. Everything else can be taken care of later.

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The following is an extract from Chapter 1: Jyotiben Thakkar of the novel The Shaking Minarets

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Jyotiben was busy doing her usual prayers in the front room. Usual because not only were the prayers usual but also was the simultaneous practice of listening her son and daughter-in-law berate her in the other room.

It was hard to get what the two were talking. But she never had to trouble her ears much for things that were meant precisely for her.

” She won’t even die so soon”, she heard her son tell her daughter-in-law in the other room.

Perhaps Bharat was still very angry about yesterday evening’s fight with her. Or perhaps he was angry for the fights between them since last many years now. After all, Bharat would fight with her the moment he remembered her presence in some corner of the house.

But never before had Jyotiben seen Bharat as much at the brink as he was yesterday. Accordingly, things had never quite reached the brink as they did yesterday.

“But Bhavna is now married. She’s not a part of our family. What did your family ever give you after you got married”, Bharat yells.

“Because my family had nothing to give. We were Vanjaras. But I will give my daughter her share. Because I can and because Bhavna has an equal right over her father’s property”, Jyotiben fights back.

There is a lull for a while as everyone searches for words. Jyotiben continues with her eternal prayers as Bharat gives her a piercing stare.

Just as Bharat seems to be about to say something, Jyotiben speaks out what she couldn’t have told God.

” If I had known that you’ll turn out to be so wicked, I would’ve asked God not to give me any more children after Bhavna.”

“Shut up”, shouts an insulted Bharat. “Look at you. Have you ever done anything for me? Still sitting on father’s property like a snake.”

“But this is the snake that had fed you milk. Not the lizard that is standing beside you”, Jyotiben refers her daughter-in-law Jigna.

“I said shut up. And don’t force me to get nasty with you. You know that I can do anything”, Bharat threatens.

Jyotiben was sitting in her chair in the front room as TV blared popular matinee soap operas from the bedroom. As in most middle class Gujarati families, the front room wasn’t exactly full with furniture. In fact, apart from the chair in which Jyotiben spent almost her entire life and a small table in front, all that the room had was a netted sofa, an open cupboard, a couple of folded chairs, a sewing machine and a cabinet to keep chappals and shoes.

But that hardly spoke of the Thakkar family’s worth. The house itself must be worth about Rupees thirty lakhs!

“I don’t want to talk any more about the house. I won’t give it. Why are you shouting at me if you’ve lost money in gambling”, Jyotiben gives it back to Bharat with matching vigour.

“Shut up you illiterate. What do you know about stock markets? I’m telling you, don’t force me to get nasty with you. Sign these papers now.”

Bharat forcibly holds Jyotiben by her shoulders and tries to make her sign the papers. Jyotiben, always a very strong woman, fights with all her will and manages to free herself amidst the struggle.

Immediately Jigna jumps in, as she senses that her husband is not reaching anywhere in his pursuit.

“You’re more than 70, what do you need the house for”, she asks.

” Yes, I’m more than 70. I don’t have many years left. So can’t you wait even till I die? And who are you to tell me about my house. Even Dollar has lived in this house longer than you! You are the one who has turned my son against me”, retorts Jyotiben.

Bharat really was at the brink today. He was not only sick of the daily fights between Jyotiben and Jigna but also of his life in general. Now that he was in line for losing his job because of market retrenchment, thoughts of the huge money lost at stock market was tearing him apart.

But nothing could’ve been more agonising for him than losing even the physical battle with his mother. Even Jigna, whom he loved at times, had never fought back when he beat her. So how could he take it back from a woman who has since ages never been more than the caretaker of their pet Dollar. He slaps Jyotiben hard and almost strangles her.

“If you don’t sign the papers NOW, I’ll kill you”.

This had never happened before. It had even Jigna stumped. Soon Bharat realizes what he had done and releases his grip over Jyotiben’s neck. But instead of being worried about the old lady, both were worried about how Jyotiben would react to it. After all, it was not long ago that Jyotiben had called the entire apartment in the house when Bharat had tried the same thing.

But this had never happened before. Jyotiben was crying. And much to the horror of the couple, her cries kept getting louder. A panic stricken Bharat threw a glance towards an equally scared Jigna. Bharat knew that the apartments was full of great admirers of his father. And everyone from the young to the old treated Jyotiben like a mother.

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The following is an extract from I Am Ahmedabad, a collection of short stories

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And I am not even allowed to talk. What the hell, I don’t agree to any conditions. I want to talk.

She looks at Akhil, who’s walking ahead, and then suddenly kicks him behind his right knee. An unsuspecting Akhil is completely thrown off-balance. His effort of holding on goes in vain and he falls down with a splash in the little stream that they were crossing. When he recoups enough to turn back to Rashi, he sees Rashi in complete ruptures. He shakes his head in mock anger as he realizes that it was only a prank by Rashi.

There were many more of those as they walked ahead. Rashi was particularly excited by the realization that the rains were so heavy that at times she just couldn’t raise her leg enough to be able to kick Akhil from behind!

If she can be this excited in my company here, why do I struggle to be even in her inner ring of friends back there? But then, even that can’t be true. Otherwise why would she share her most inner thoughts with only me? Or is it because I’m so far from her world that she thinks I’m absolutely safe?

Is she taking me as the Mr. Right-Now till she too finds someone who can give more? Am I on the same trip again?

Oh come on; don’t spoil it by getting bitter again. No one has ever managed to understand women anyway. This time, just enjoy till it lasts.

They might’ve got used to the rains, but they still had to look out for a shelter to spend the night. And after a further walk of about half an hour, their hopes seemed to be answered in the form of a dilapidated structure. It was difficult to tell if it was a temple that never got built or had something to do with hunting. But whatever it was, it looked a good place to spend the evening.

Under the shade, they take out their dry pair of clothes out of the million-layered polythene covers. And amidst incessant grins and accidental brushes, they help each other change into dry clothes.

There was only a little dry square on the ground. Akhil spreads a bed sheet on the ground. And then starts searching the rucksacks for their dinner. They still had 3 days to go and the remaining munchies resembled a serious miscalculation. Akhil gets a little concerned. But not for long. There’s always a way out for everything.

As he takes out satchels of soft-drink concentrate, he smiles at Rashi’s unusually lost look towards the continuing rains. And for once, Rashi only wanted to talk with her own self.

Whatever I might say, I have cheated mummy. It’s just that she might not ever find this out. I hope she doesn’t notice any change in me.

Hope Niki does not forget to send the e-mails to papa using my account. But what if papa and mummy have already found out that I’ve not been to the marriage of Niki’s cousin? Will they take me back?

What the hell, they don’t approve of anything that I do anyway. I’ve enjoyed every bit of it and I’m not going to be sorry for it. Who knows if I’ll get to be just as carefree with the guy they ask me to get married to!

Suddenly, she feels Akhil come from behind her and kiss her on the cheek. He then brings forward the food plate with his right hand. It was the usual two-minute noodles, a little namkeen and apple. And then the other hand carrying a glass of the usual orange juice. As she turns her face a little to thank him, she could not miss his loving smile. He looked very strange in that ever-growing beard. But then, on the only two occasions when he could have shaved, she was the one who had stopped him. He looked in a good mood as he winked and kept smiling. She had never seen him like this.

Why can’t Akhil and I get married?

She shivers at the thought. She’d thought about him earlier too. But this was different. It was no longer an idea; it seemed a realization!

She smiles, not wanting the thought to slip out from her face. But the sudden surge in love slowly starts getting better of her. And as her heart starts palpitating, she turns around and hugs Akhil hard. It was one of those mood swings that Akhil understood too well. He bends down a little to kiss Rashi on her head. He rests his chin on Rashi’s head and looks away at the magnificent rains.

In the light of a solitary torch, the severely rainy evening made even moments look like years. As, with the glass in one hand and the food plate in the other, Akhil’s shoulders start feeling the burden of his stretched out arms. But he does nothing. The solitude is finally broken when Akhil hears Rashi sobbing. Before he could react, Rashi suddenly breaks down. Initially nervous, Akhil just rubs his chin on Rashi’s head a couple of time before resting his cheek there; and allows her to cry her heart out.

Rashi kept crying for the whole evening. And kept raising her hands to apologise. Every time she would do that, Akhil would take her hands in his, kiss them and give her a smile. But she would find herself crying even more.

As Akhil fed her the dinner, she kept her hands locked behind Akhil. Almost like a little girl who worried that her father would vanish the moment she freed her hands around him. Finally, with her head on Akhil’s stretched-out right arm, she goes to sleep, hugging Akhil ever so tight.

Just a few feet away from them, it was pouring heavens on all sides. The thunderstorm was loud and the gushing wind very vocal, but nothing could shake either Rashi’s sleep or Akhil’s thoughts.

I don’t know what it is, what it will be,
But this once I’ll let it be what it will be.
What have I got that I ever prayed for?
So this once I’ll let it be what it will be.

When Akhil opens his eyes in the morning, he could see trees till some distance through the continuing rains. Must be 9. As he turns on his side to go back to sleep again, his eyes are arrested by the glimpse of Rashi’s right bosom through the undone buttons of her shirt. He pauses and admires the amazing infiniteness of a woman’s beauty. Especially, the infiniteness of its meanings! Soon, he shifts his eyes to his angel’s face. And for a moment, he struggles to find the woman he liked in the child with short hair that was sleeping by his side! He pushes back Rashi’s disheveled hair, bends down to kiss her forehead and then retires back to sleep.

As usual, he wakes Rashi up in the morning. I’ll just come; he tells her as he keeps a knife by her side before disappearing in the rains. She understood the lingo; she’d herself made use of the same words every morning.
With ruffled hair over her happy face, Rashi curls within her bed-sheet. All she could see and hear was rains.

This is so beautiful. And I thought the best thing would be to wake up in a big, round, cushioned bed with lots of pillows and silken sheets, and being served everything I wanted right there in the bed. Or is it because I’m still excited about my first time?

Come on, money is important, I can’t deny it. But then, there are so many filthy rich women who are so bored in life that they have to go for younger male keeps. Wow! That gives all the more reason for it. Now I’ll definitely marry a very rich man and have many cute and dark men as my keeps!

With a child-like grin on her face she brings the bed-sheet over her head and curls playfully on the bare floor. And soon takes her head out with a smile. Life is beautiful.

She looks towards their rucksacks. Akhil wanted to carry as little as possible. Hence they’d taken along only 2 extra pairs of clothes and an equal number of underclothing, for an eight-day long trip. But who needs them now anyway, she blushes. The rest was filled up by a million varieties of food and beverage concentrate items, medicines and navigational tools like torches and ropes. Not that she was counting the stuff while she stared the rucksack.

Is Akhil the one? How would I know? I mean what does one look for in a life partner? He’s a nice guy and he’s now proved to be a great lover too. But what about all that talk of that special vibe? Oh come one, it’s all trash. I mean so many guys give out that special vibe. What about them?

But if Akhil’s not the one, then what the hell was I thinking when I did with him? What about all those thoughts of saving it all for that special someone? Was it all bullshit?

Suddenly she could sense that last night’s edginess was returning. To compound the misery, as she looks over her shoulder towards the lashing rains, she knew that from then on, it was going to be the walk back home. Walk back to the world from where she wanted to run away. And the more she thought about it, the sicker she felt.

They walk hand in hand in the rains, with Rashi looking at the ground and Akhil far away. Soon, Rashi stops Akhil by pulling his hand. And as Akhil turns towards her, she takes a step ahead, wraps her arms around him and rests herself against him. Akhil was now getting used to that.

After a few minutes of togetherness in the splashing rains, Akhil takes hold of Rashi’s face in his hands. And as he looks straight into her eyes, he breaks their promise.

“Why are you so sure that once we reach back home, life would not be like this ever again?”

Rashi could not believe her ears. How could the man read her so well? Tears roll down her cheeks in a hurry as she too breaks her promise of a silent sojourn.

“I don’t know. I think I love you but I’m still not completely sure of you. I’m not sure if I would be taking this ahead when we return. I don’t know why. I think there’s something wrong with me. I can’t take it anymore.”

Akhil tries to say something but Rashi forces her face into his chest with great vigour and breaks down completely. Akhil doesn’t say anything. He just gives her a tight hug to reassure her.

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The following is an extract from I Am Ahmedabad, a collection of short stories

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The psychedelic lizard looked pretty much like a little rainbow amidst the blinding rains. Scampering indecisively about the branch in the beginning, it soon rushes towards the edge of the branch and leaps magnificently in the air. And as it stays air-borne for what seems an eternity, it looked as if the fleshy rain wouldn’t let it reach its destination. It is only when it grasps a neighbouring branch, about 5 feet away, that Rashi regains her breath. But not for long, as she finds another dazzling alligator come to the fore and go flying in the air. Almost immediately, the first one leaps again and crosses the second one in mid-air to get back to the original branch. Before Rashi could realize, a couple more kaleidoscopic messieurs had arrived at the first branch to emulate the lead players.

They are playing a game! God they are playing a game! I don’t believe this!

She immediately turns about to draw Akhil’s attention. But he is too busy navigating their path with a stick. It was the first exceedingly soggy stretch of earth and the fear of being sucked into an invisible swarm had kept Akhil on the edge for quite some time now. How boring, Rashi silently curses Akhil and gives the playful lizards a final look before resuming the walk.

It scarcely looked as if they had ever realized that torrential rains were lashing them for the past three days. And that the last time they had seen anything besides a tree was last evening, when they had taken shelter in what seemed a cave. It was not as if the place was inaccessible to humans. It’s just that most avoided the place during these three months of incessant rains. But the two didn’t, as they continued the walk laden with the fear of being ambushed by, well, anything; of a tree falling over them because of the heavy downpour and lightning or of reaching the middle of nowhere.

But no one ever spoke anything. For, that was the only constraint. No one was allowed even a word except the necessary for those eight days! Akhil had thought that the adamant condition would encourage Rashi to find another partner; while Rashi had agreed for it with a belief that it would never be lived out.

Unfortunately for her, it did. And it clearly tormented her more than Akhil.

What the hell, SO WHAT if I’d agreed to this stupid condition! I mean come on; what’s the point in being together if we’re not going to talk anyway. He could’ve at least asked me once if I’m feeling fine or not! But look at him, he can go on without talking for ages. It’s so irritating.

But Akhil was, as Rashi would often call him, incorrigible. For him, a promise was a promise. Moreover, talking had never scored over his thoughts anyway.

What a place! Wish I could keep meandering here. Forever! No need to find good food to prove a point. No need to wear different clothes for different occasions. Perfect!

But everything wasn’t as serene in Rashi’s heart of twenty-two years. Daily fracas with parents had turned home into an ugly battleground. And if it were not enough, job had become a nauseating decay and she had started losing more friends than she had ever made. Always the one for immediate judgements, she had reached the brink of ramming her car in to a fast approaching lorry about a fortnight ago. But for the alertness of the opposite driver, she would have succeeded.

Akhil was the only one who knew about it, in spite of the fact that they had not been talking for over a month at the time of her extreme attempt. He had found himself in that state earlier too. And at times he found it a bit curious. Not just because he was a friend of barely an year but also because most of the period was spent in not talking to each other! Yet, neither found anything unusual when he could convince her to take a sabbatical; and go off to a far away place.

But Akhil hadn’t bargained for Rashi asking him to accompany her. Moreover, he didn’t know anything about going out alone with a girl. And you think I go to remote jungles with guys every weekend or what, Rashi had retorted angrily. But that wasn’t the point for Akhil. He wanted Rashi to spend some time with her own self. However, being far away and alone was out of question for her. Besides, Akhil’s company never created much dialogue anyway.

You’re like a toll free psychiatric helpline that first lets me speak for hours and when I’m done, asks me not to hold back anything, she had once giggled.

The only other thing that she was sure of was, that Akhil affected her. Though, she could never really understand how exactly and why. At times she thought that maybe it was his spirit that touched her the most. She remembered how once after one of his worst setbacks he had joked, It feels wonderful to know that I’m now so deep down in life that I’ll be the first one to come out from the other end.

At times she thought it was more than that. At very different times, he had thought the same about her.
At the moment, she wasn’t thinking about any of that. I can’t stay unhappy for long, she’d once told Akhil. And she no longer was. Of course, being at a place that she’d often seen in movies must’ve helped too. It was a world of trees, trees and more trees. Most were taller than her apartments while some were wider than her small car. Some were naughty enough to make use of every windy excuse to splash water on to her and some seemed to hold each other in a group, just like she and her brother had for a family photograph. And to top it all for her, it was raining like she had never seen before. Only she knew how desperate she was getting to call up Nikki, her best friend, and describe the place.
God! Imagine it raining for 7 days continuously. It was not only pouring like hell, but there were also little streams every few meters. My hands and feet had become so soaked that they looked morbid. Very pale; with blue veins crossing them. At times, the rains would suddenly step up and make it difficult even to keep the eyes open, forget walking. It’s impossible to describe how drenched we were. How our clothes had really got stuck on to our bodies. And honestly speaking, it felt extremely arousing at times!

She smiles thinking about Nikki’s naughty take on her confession. Of course, even in her thoughts, she wanted to first complete her talks before allowing the other person to speak.

Seriously, sometimes I really thought that if it were not Akhil, I would’ve found it difficult to control myself. But you should’ve seen him; I mean the six feet dumbo was walking as if we were going to some pilgrimage!

But it was fun. And so strange! We just kept walking, without knowing where we were going. I mean we knew that we would walk in for 3 days and then start walking back. But that was it. No talk, nothing! It was crazy. I really wished it were our group there; we would’ve had such fun. I really missed you guys.

But the truth of the matter was that she had started liking things the way they were. The incessant rains, the excitement of being where she was and the fact that she hadn’t felt as relaxed for long now. Suddenly, she is shaken out of slumber as she feels something at her ankle. She immediately lets out a shriek. An alert Akhil immediately gets a proper hold of his stick as he turns about. And as the two immediately look down in the ankle-deep stream, they almost simultaneously find out that it was only a very small piece of floating wood that had caused the commotion. As he turns around to continue, Akhil’s indifferent stare makes clear his displeasure about the alarm. That in turn doesn’t amuse Rashi much.

To be continued …

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