Soon, the wheel of life would reach one more milestone; and in the process leave behind that last sojourn that you are never going to experience again. Fortunately, that’s just life.

The calender may leave behind one of its family every year; but do we let go almost anything of the previous year? What is it about us humans that we just keep on accumulating everything that comes our way? Why do we want to just about recreate the same joys every year? Or carry the scars of yesteryears with us for life? Why are we scared of not having things that we had ourselves created; and hence, by extension, can be recreated by us?

Maybe those are the emotions that make us humans. Or maybe not. For, don’t we have so many people around us who lead the life of Gypsies and seem to be having the best of all worlds? We hate them for their not falling into the format prescribed by the society. But we also envy them for getting away with it, right?

The truth of the matter is that every new moment is a new life – as per both evolved spiritualism and evolved science of physics. Even if we take it as a mere metaphor, it should provide us with enough drive to feel fresh about the present. As Rajesh Khanna says in that immortal film Anand,  “Jab tak zinda hun tab tak mara nahin. Aur jab mar gaya to saala mein hi nahin; Toh phir dar kaahe ka”. Yes, that’s what we need to do – let go the tendency of stretching forward the unaccomplished into the present and pulling to us the uncertainties of the future. While holding on to neither the past nor the future is going to help the cause of the present much, it would make every moment of our life a lot heavier than what they ought to be.

The subject is an universe in itself. But there’s no harm in our making a small, light-on-soul beginning, right?

S.1 = Stereotype

Thoughts, actions and emotions borne by the two can very easily become symbols of our conditioning.Conditioning that society provides us and conditioning that is born out of our reluctance to innovate.

Calling everyone from South a ‘Madrasi’ is an example of stereotyping. So is that of a south Indian calling anyone above the Vindhyas a Punjabi.

The trouble is not as much about it being a case of inaccurate (it is generally not malicious) description as it is about falling prey to an existing stream of social consciousness.

We never question existing norms, methods, practices and thoughts. “Aa toh aavuj hoye” is what we make ourselves and our successors believe for almost everything in life.

However, owing to constraints of space and format, we would keep the serious discussion over the psychology of stereotyping and means of breaking out of it. For the moment, we will stick to the festive mood of the season and talk of breaking out of stereotypical ways of celebrating the new year’s eve.

One of the most common and quite understandable complaint is that there are only a handful of places where one can go to let her hair down for a few hours. But why should those handful of places witness a handful of methods of celebration? Life is a new story every single moment and so can be celebration of it be. The only pre-requisite for it is the desire to let go.

We say, break the stereotype and try the following this new year’s eve:

Go away from the city:
Go to Mt. Abu, Diu or just to neighbourhoods like  Thol lake near Shilaj or Nal Sarovar and have a campfire party. To have a new kind of fun, do away with all woollens and jackets – till the clock strikes the new year. Add a bit of treasure hunt, tracking and the “bare all thoughts” session about the campfire.

Have theme Parties:
Ever thought of recreating the rock and roll music  of 60s, cinema look of the 70s, historical figures’s get together, chocolate throwing, donations wanted party and a host of such themes from out of a million choices? Try it; it doesn’t cost much, allows you to do the regular things anyway and make for photographs for a lifetime.

Get Inclusive tonight, Party tomorrow
Festivals are particularly painful for lonely souls – of any and every reason and strata of the society. Make them and yourself feel good by being with them. You can party the next day.

S.2 : Stagnancy

Have you ever studied your life graph of the last five years? Hope you are not stuck so badly in a frame that you can neither move ahead nor back a little for a fresh start

Stagnancy, fortunately, doesn’t always signify the suspension of action. Unfortunately, as those who are experiencing it would tell you, it may not mean much better either. Equally frightening is the ease with which one can slip into stagnancy. And by the time some of realise the rut that we’ve got into, we find that we have been conditioned to not only accept the ritualistic motion of life but also to actually nurture it!

So, what is this stagnancy all about?

The most relevant example of today seems to be the performance of the Indian cricket time. Players are making the same mistakes all over again; reacting in the same manner to challenges of varied nature and most importantly, feeling a sense of ‘been there done that’ every time they step on to a ground. Little wonder then, a more determined, flexible and keen South African team is treating our team like a bunch of mediocre school kids.

Closer home, don’t we often feel reluctant to go back to the same job again? Don’t we feel reluctant to go back to the same old, boring and theoretical classrooms? Don’t we feel reluctant to do the same nonsense chatting on Orkut?

Chances are that most of us feel that at frequent intervals. Or maybe, quite like the ‘Monday Blues’, the feeling visits our soul every single week. Hope not.

Now look at the other side of story: Have you ever heard a film-maker or music composer or a bird-watcher or an astronomer et al talk of ‘Monday Blues’? Maybe not;  because they don’t have mandatory Sundays! Think.

The fact of the matter is that the human brain is not only the birth place of stagnancy but also the single biggest support system of the illness. We often find ourselves confined within one single frame of an entire time-line called life because our brain has got comfortable with that frame. Or maybe it feels that we have become comfortable with that frame; and hence the futility of it suggesting something to us!

So, if you feel that your life hasn’t moved anywhere for a few years now, get talking with your brain. Ask questions till you get answers from it.

Try and ask the following questions:

1. When did I last do something at work that I don’t do every day?
2. Am I doing something that can’t be done by fresh recruit in equivalent time?
3. How many hours of work am I paid for?
4. How many hours of my life is being taken by my work after my office hours?
5. If I can do with a little less money and a little less of the present work, would I like to do something else too simultaneously?
6. If yes, why am I not doing it?
7. If not, when would the present mess clear out?

Go ahead and do a bit of solo brain-storming. Once you get moving within that inspiring plane called the human brain, physical movement becomes a matter of mere details. The first step, of course, is to identify stagnancy. Rest would merely be akin letting go.

I.3 = ignorance

We do a lot of things as a matter of conditioning. Would it not be a good idea to take a little time out from the mundane and inform ourselves of the origins and reasons for being a part of them?

So what’s all the song and dance about? Why does everyone hit the party zone once every year?

New Year’s Eve, December 31, is the final day of the Gregorian year and it now involves the global practice of partying until the moment of the transition of the year at midnight. Elementary knowledge that even your puppy knows, right?

Only till we dig deep into us looking for our understanding of the Gregorian year itself.

Wait for a few moments; try to recollect all the information that you have on the subject.

The Gregorian calendar is the most widely used calendar in the world. A modification of the Julian calendar (introduced in 46 BC by Julius Caesar), it was first proposed by the Calabrian doctor Aloysius Lilius, and was decreed by Pope Gregory XIII, for whom it was named, on 24 February 1582 via the papal bull (a special kind of patent or charter issued by a pope) Inter gravissimas. Its years are numbered based on the traditional birth year of Jesus, which is labeled the “anno Domini” (AD) era  and sometimes “common era” (CE).

Other modern day new years of various cultures are as under:

1. The Chinese New Year, occurs every year on the new moon of the first lunar month (between 21 January and 21 February).
2. The Thai New Year is celebrated from 13 April to 15 April by throwing water.
3. The Iranian New Year, called Norouz, is the first day spring season. This falls on the 20 or 21 March.
4. The Bengali New Year Pohela Baisakh is celebrated on 14 April or 15 April.
5. The Punjabi New Year Vaisakhi is celebrated on 13 April and celebrates the harvest.
6. The Gujarati New Year is usually celebrated the day after the festival of Diwali.
7. The Marwari New Year is celebrated on the day of the festival of Diwali.
8. The Telugu New Year generally falls in the months of March or April.
9. The Tamil New Year and Vishu are celebrated on the same day respectively in the Southern Indian states of Tamil Nadu and Kerala. They generally fall on 13 April or 14 April.

The list, obviously, is only a drop in the ocean of the  infinite new years that this world celebrates! Ever wondered why others don’t have a new year’s eve party?

Some of the world’s best places to party during new year’s eve are Rio De Janeiro (all passion, heaven for newly married), New York (fun and revelry, with citizens from almost all the nations), Sydney harbour (the best fireworks and the 2nd big city, after Aukland (NZ) to welcome the new year), Big Ben, London and our very own Goa.

In France, the Year’s Eve, called la Saint-Sylvestre, is celebrated with a feast called le Réveillon de Saint-Sylvestre. This feast customarily includes special dishes and drinks like champagne and foie gras.

I.4 = inhibition

Fear of doing the correct thing can have far worse consequences than being undeterred by the foolhardiness of taking an inappropriate decision in life. You can’t make amends for what you have not done, right?

How many times have you rued not taking an opportunity?

It could have been not telling a girl of your immense love for her. Or your not taking a financially challenged but professionally challenging career option. And who could forget the many opportunities of saying ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry’ to someone?

Why do we that? There cannot be one single reason for the 6 billion souls that inhabit this lovely planet. But some of the most commonplace reasons for our inhibition lack of confidence, ego, negativity and conditioning (”girls should not do this”). Not getting into the depth of a psychologist here, League magazine encourages you to get over some of your inhibitions by taking life head-on and doing the following:

1. Take part in one of infinite reality show auditions. Stand in queue with hundreds of hopefuls, perform in front of severely critical judges and come out feeling good about having taken part in it. How many of your friends have managed to do even that much anyway!
2. Switch off from work after office hours, risking non-completion of many files and spend time with family, friends and your passions. And do that everyday. If you have been a good employee, you won’t get fired for being yourself after office hours. If you have not been, you may get the stick anytime anyway. Nothing to lose here, mate!
3. (For women) Going to your car / kinetic service station person and ask him to take a 15-day workshop about the emergency repairing and working of your machine. Working with grease and sweaty men might not be your idea of fun, but it would free you of dependence for ever. Sounds good?
4. (For men) Promise yourself and your family of being an equal hand in preparing one meal of the day for one – just this one – full month! You can continue if you wish. Girls of all ages would love you for that.

Doing any one of the aforementioned would be taking on at least one of your inhibitions, at least indirectly. Just see how one inhibition less can cause freedom from all inhibitions. Let go.

X.5 = Xenophobia

What we make of things around us are, quite often, based on what we carry in our eyes. Let go that red eye syndrome.

The more the world is becoming a single, seamless global village, the more conservative it is getting about alien people, cultures and ideas. The word for it is ‘xenophobia’ and the result of it is conflicts across the globe between the so-called ‘outsiders’ and the ‘natives’.

The conflict, as discussed many times over by all and sundry, is largely because of the fear of the unknown. Fear of being overrun by the ‘other’ – both in terms of expression of our beings and also in terms of physical existence itself.

‘What if’ become the first two words of all the future uncertainties, half of which would certainly never happen!

The anxiety can be well understood by everyone – what with survival itself becoming a never-ending pursuit. But, fortunately, the answer is equally simple too.

In today’s world, no one is out to conquer any physical sphere. It is a concept of yestercenturies. The single biggest pursuit of human race – with exception of a minor, motivated and mischievous individuals – is to provide oneself with a comfortable life. How different is that from our own pursuit? No one can steal away your worth, values and culture from you. They can at best share it with you.

x.6 = xyz

There is no end to the list of things that we can let go to achieve a perfect symphony with nature and our own inner self.
Thankfully, it would take more than a day of pondering over the various facets of our life to arrive at the real picture of our existence. Either it would tell you the chains – career targets, socio-cultural compulsions or plain and simple, self expectations – that hold your inner peace from coming into its own and give you the answers to charting a freer course of life or it would simply lay bare the place of everything in the larger picture of life. In either case, you would find that as we grow, we keep on adding a host of influences – both inner and worldly – to our life; without realising that each of them come with a cumbersome baggage of their own. And as travel operators would tell you, to have maximum fun of a voyage, travel light.

Travel light,  says life’s tour operator too.

Let go!

--- University School of Sciences Kitli ---

With a union minister, a former cricketer and a top film personality getting jail sentences (confirmed, suspended and expected respectively) within a span of one week, fears of a shortage of prison cells have been raised by some quarters. Or maybe not. Maybe it is just Neel who can’t help being his outrageous self.

“Alya, what if all jails are already house-full? I won’t mind keeping Sanju baba at my home. Maanas saro chhe.”

“Haan, haan, actor hai isliye maanas saro chhe. If there was an ordinary person in his place, you would’ve wanted such persons to be shot dead”  Milind counters.

“shot dead” – Milind counters.

That’s the beauty of Amdavadi Kitlis such as this one – every nonsense is countered here by an unrelated one of similar stature.

“Abey kya common man, common man. Have you traveled in an unreserved compartment? If you don’t die of the stink, you’ll die of the stinking habits of India’s common man.”

“Whoa! Save Maharaja Neel from his praja folks”, Daljit teases Neel.

“Kyon, talking the truth makes someone Maharaja?”

“Arey nahin Maharaj, aisa main kab kaha”, Daljit refuses to back away, “I was asking Roy to get some railway tickets for you. When would his job help us?” – deflecting Neel’s assault towards Roy’s job with Indian railways.

“Anyway,”  Neel overlooks Daljit’s aimlessness  “why does the common man get praised so much. If every common man is jailed for the wrongs that he or she does every single day, no number of prison cells across the globe would be sufficient for them.”

“Shah, ruk”  Daljit throws the popular method of stopping Neel Shah whenever he gets hyper about something.

“Neel, baka, let’s not get into that debate again. Common man ni beep ni beep. Happy?”

Everyone laughs at the mother-like approach of Milind.

“Waise” – oh no, Daljit is ready to throw something again – “how much should a jail charge for a window seat?”

“Saale, can you ever think beyond your family business of trucks? Aayo moto window seat waalo!” – Neel tries to settle scores.

“Ha ha ha Neel, your smart comment almost blew me away” – Daljit replies with a poker face.

Luckily, both Daljit and Neel are very clean and friendly guys and it never gets messy.

Neel smiles, “You tell us. You are the Selu King of Ahmedabad.”

“Gaali dene ke liye shukriya”, Dalji reciprocates the warmth, “I think for every window seat for evolved individuals of the spiritual communities of politicians (everyone smiles), actors and cricketers should cost 50 x 12,500.”

Alright then, Daljit is back with his bag of statistics. These sales people always have some data or the other to throw at others, whether or not they make any sense even to their own selves. The idea is to make sales, not sense, right?

Anyway, everyone wonders what he’s got this time.

“Prabhu”, Neel folds his hands and touches Daljit’s knees, “yeh 50 x 12,500 aapki kaun si maya hai?”

Neel is meanwhile busy calculating the total on his cell phone. “Abey”, he says while still looking into his phone,

“12,500 is India’s per capita income; and multiplying with an average age of 50, I guess (looks up as he gets his answer) a window seat should cost the evolved ones Rs. 6,25,000 for a window seat in jail.”

Roy looks bewildered – “But what’s that figure got to do with … well … Anything?” Almost immediately, everyone laughs in agreement.

Daljit suddenly feels cornered with ridicule coming at huge speeds from all directions. But then, he’s Daljit. “Tum log saalon, you can only drink tea and laugh at bad jokes. (Everyone laughs even louder) Why do I even talk of bigger things with you”.

That nailed it. Each one lets out a howl in unison. They couldn’t decide whether to let Daljit explain his statistics first or laugh out the eventual justification without hearing itself.

After what seemed an eternity, the group gets its marbles back. Predictably, it is Roy who advocates adding meaning to the conversation. “Abey, no one’s laughing at you. It’s just that it was funny to see someone come up with such statistics for a nonsense like a window seat in jail. Anyway, complete your story.”

“Nahin, nahin, you guys might want to laugh a little more. Go ahead”, Daljit mocks anger.

“Abey bol na” – Milind gets impatient.

“It is a simple thought. A common man (he immediately looks at Neel; and predictably enough, Neel mouths a few silent curses for his pet hate. Everyone smiles and Daljit continues) … a common man may live for 50 years in the open. But he hardly gets to enjoy the fresh air. Because it’s either not there around his home or he is simply buried under the task of earning his bread to even notice a thing like window. He spends 50 years for that 12,500 every year. That’s his life that he never has. That’s the window of fresh air that he never has. And so when some film star, sports star or a political star gets that window, he should pay for it – equivalent to an entire life of the common man.”

There is stunned silence for a while. And then suddenly everyone gets up, raise their hands in air and stroke the imaginary bell of a temple. “Saadho, Saadho”, says Neel, as everyone fold their hands and bow in front of the still-seated Daljit. “Jai ho param pujya, Sri Sri Daljit Singh Dhall-ji maharaj ki.”

“Kyon, saying the truth makes someone Maharaj” – Daljit immediately throws Neel’s own words back at him.

Everyone laughs. But today, they might relive the conversation when they reach back home.

--- 8:50 PM Jayram Tea Stall (outside IIM, towards AMA) ---

Amdavadi kitlis never fail to throw up the bigger issues of life. Like, how many ‘adadhees’ can you have just before dinner?

Too many can cause a rearranging of spaces and gases in the stomach; and yet, having a solitary  one almost always stands the prospect of insulting the kitli owner. And Jayram, for one, remembers most things in life. To make matters worse, the fact of the chatter is that it’s not you, but the discussion over and across the moodhha that decides the number of steaming glasses that you empty into you.

Anyway, on a comfortably numb Ahmedabad November evening, Sharma, Parth, Maulik, Richu and Jigar are all seated in a very small circle. As usual, Parth finds the moodhha a little small for his gloriously successful seat: “I don’t know when would they learn to design good moodhhas”.

“Abey, yeh tere baap ke factory ka furniture nahin hai”  Jigar takes a dig at the furniture business of Parth’s dad  “yeh Asian paints ka peepa hai. And they never thought they’ll have to paint such a huge (pointing towards Parth’s behind) room”

Everyone bursts out laughing. Richu is the loudest. She’s new to the kitli culture and loves every bit of the world-famous-in-Vastrapur ‘guy mahotsavs’ at the kitli.

“Na hauye Jigar, your sense of humour has improved so much! I’m sure my 4-year-old nephew would really love you”
There goes Richu again, covering her mouth while continuing with her laughter. She has hardly spoken this evening. But even Jayram could tell that she’s quite happy at having found this kind of space in her life. The group treats her like a baby and her happiness always manages to find many ready smiles for company.

So then, what’s the verdict –   should Parthiv be in the team in place of Ganguly?

In place of Ganguly!” – wonders Parth. “And I thought the whole fuss was about Ganguly himself not being in the team”.

“Very intelligent of you Sir to have such refined sarcasm; but then, we don’t blame you. You have time to do overtime at office but don’t have time for the Kitli. Aur agar sarkar aa bhi gaye toh unke dono kaan aur &^$*% mein mobile ghusa rehta hai”  Sharma lets go his old grouse.

“Abey yaar, wapas chalu mat ho ja tu. I am in Sales and I have to sit during month endings.”

“Abey toh hum sab kya lukhkhe hain yahan?”

Yeah, great; things were heating up again between Parth and Sharma. As usual. Adding to the ritual, Maulik takes over the firefighting in his hands one more time. “Alya bund thaao bannei jana. Why don’t you two just talk out the issue?”

“What is the issue here? That I make sure I complete my work at the office? Or that I have three cell phones?”

“No, no. The issue here is that, since you are the only one working here, what method should we be employing to make sure that you do not get disturbed during your world-saving telephonic conversations”

“What the &%$#, what should I tell clients –  boss, I can’t talk to you because I have to entertain Sharma at the kitli?”

“Mere aise din nahin aaye hain ki I look forward to you for entertainment.”

“Hey come on guys, why do we have to do this every second day”. That was Richu.

“Simply because Khalid Sharma Mohammad does not understand that in sales, office hours never end.”

“Aw, come one; give me a break”  Sharma just stands up and leaves to buy a cigarette from Bobby.

“Abey uski problem kya hai?”

“He’s definitely over-reacting”, Maulik reasons, “but the fact of the matter is that you NEVER switch off. Not your mobile; not your work.”

“Well, if you’ve got such a big problem with my talking on phone. I think I’ll stop coming here.”

“But you won’t even try to switch off work after office hours, right?”

“%&$# it, I’m leaving”  Parth has had enough. He gets up from the moodhha, picks up his laptop and moves to his bike. No one tries to stop him, though Richu seems to be a little worked up.

“Don’t worry, aisa bahut baar hua hai”, Maulik tries to make Richu feel lighter. He then turns towards Sharma, “Sharma chal, we’re all leaving”.

“Arey pan, aa dar-roj ni maathakut no solution shu?” – Jigar asks.

“Main batata hoon”, Sharma walks in with a smug smile on his face. “The solution of this one is to award Parth the title of the only working soul of this planet. Saala. If Bill Gates can sit in an Aussie stadium and watch Olympics live, what is this guy’s business – selling bloody (business category)?”

Oops, things are now definitely going for a tailspin.

“Muko ne yaar, chalo let’s go”  Maulik tries to save the group of getting sucked into a bitter one.

Well, to begin with, no one at the kitli ever feels guilty if they spray their thoughts all over the place. Being a McGrath of conversations is not the pursuit of even the purists of kitli conversations.

Yet, the group did mule over the possiblitly of having Parthiv in the team in place of Ganguly. But before anyone could realize, it had all become about whether one should switch off completely from work after office hours.  Maybe the original conversation would happen some day soon. Or maybe when they meet again after dinner!

As for the latter subject, well, the jury is still out. Maybe they would think it over dinner and get back with renewed vigour. Of course, it seems highly unlikely that Parth would turn up again today.

PS: Just in case you share Parth’s surprise, the big one from the group is that Ganguly definitely deserves a place in the team. But since the present administrators and team management would have none of it, the group believes that at least some other “lefty” should be in the team.

Don’t think; just speak and sip tea at an Amdavadi kitli.