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I’m Waiting for the Nightangle to Stop Singing – 2

The following is an extract from I Am Ahmedabad, a collection of short stories

###

Hi, this is Aditi. How may I help you?”

“Hi, this is Nishant again. I’m sorry our call had got cut the last time.”

“How did you get through the same person, me, again, so soon, Mr. Nishant”, the knowledge of Nishant’s background was unmistakable in Aditi’s voice.

“Well, I don’t know. I just dialled the call-center number again and I got you. If you wish, I can put the phone down.”

There’s silence for a moment. Aditi struggles to figure out whether Nishant was playing with her or was genuinely unaware. And then, she suddenly realises something.

“Why would you think that this is a call center, Mr. Nishant?”

(“Oops”) “Well”, Nishant re-arranges his thoughts, “I’ve just come back from the US and I know that most such helpline tasks are outsourced these days. So I thought, maybe, this one’s a call-center too”

“That’s so smart of you Mr. Nishant”, Aditi fires a little sarcasm at Nishant. “Yes, it indeed is a call center.”

“Oh, OK. Cool.”

“So, you like call centers, Mr. Nishant?”

(“Wow, she’s having a go at me!” ha ha) “Well, ya, sort of. Am in the same business.”

“I can see that in your records. NishTECH Valley Pvt. Ltd., that’s your Company, right Mr. Nishant?”

“Ya, it is. Cool.”

“And you want to now buy our Company. Right, Mr. Nishant?”

(“Whoa! She knows it? What should I say?”) (takes a moment and then laughs) “I wish I could, Ms. Aditi. Then at least my Company would have had a nightingale. Right Ms. Aditi.” (laughs again)

Aditi finally loses it: “Look mister, I don’t know who you are and how do you know my office name. I don’t even care if you are going to buy this Company or not. Because I’m going to leave this Company anyway. And so would a lot of others. I’m sure of it. But what I would like to know before that is how do you know about me.”

“What if I say that it’s a trade secret. And that I can’t tell you?”

“What if I bang the phone down on you right now?”

“What if I say, I will make you the boss of this Company?”

“What if I say, I don’t care to be the boss of a Company that starts the process of getting sold without even letting its employees about it?”

“What if I say, that it is a routine practice across the globe?”

“What if I say, I give two hoots to routine practices?”

“What if I say, that’s one of the reasons I love you Aditi?”

(“WHAT! WHAT DID HE JUST SAY? BLOODY CREEP!”) (With simmering anger) “And what if I say, Mr. Nishant, that even at 3 AM in the morning, you sound just as freshly sick as you would during the day?”

(laughs) “Well Aditi …”

“Please call me Ms. Aditi, Mr. Nishant.”

“When did THAT come in code of conduct of the callers. We can call you by your first names, if we wish, Aditi.”

“Who the &$#& is this?”

“Nishant, Nishant Vaidya”

“Do I know you, Nishant?”

“Hey, hey. Call me Mr. Nishant, Aditi”, Nishant takes a fun potshot at Aditi.

(Not that Aditi cared much for it, as she repeats her query in the same vein) “Do I know you, Nishant?”

“You’d once said that one day you will marry me.”

“What! What nonsense. I don’t even know you. This is such a disgusting trick.”

(smiles) “This is no trick Aditi. I know you.”

“How? From where?”

“We were together in school.”

“What! When? Which school? Which class?”

“When you were in Class 1 and 2 and …”

“Class 1 and 2! I don’t even remember anything of class 1 and 2. And I don’t think there was anyone called Nishant Vaidya in my entire school life.”

“Yes, there wasn’t.”

“Matlab?”

“I wasn’t called Nishant in class 1 and 2. And neither was I a Vaidya then.”

“What is this, some kind of a Kyuki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thhi kinda story or what?”

(laughs) “It’s even worse.” (laughs again)

(Not sure why but Aditi too couldn’t help but smile. And also got amused by Nishant’s cool as cucumber temperament)

“I have no idea what you are talking about. And I don’t even know why I’m talking with you. I thought you would be a serious person, considering you are supposed to buy this Company. But after talking with you, I guess it’s not going to happen. My Company is safe.”

(laughs) “So be it, Aditi. But can I complete my K-story?”

(smiles) “Ya, go ahead. Amuse me.” (smiles more)

(laughs) “When you were …”

“OK, wait a minute. Which school are we talking of here?”

“Our school, which else?”

“Well, I know where I studied my class 1 and 2. Which school do you think we were together in?”

“Ms. Sherelock Holmes, we were together in ASIA English school.”

(“Oh my God! He knows it all!”) “Wow! You’ve really done your homework.”

“Yes, I have. These days I call it groundwork.”

“Hmmm!” Aditi starts getting sucked into the conversation and the enigma in the form of Nishant.

“Anyway, when you were class 2,  I was in Class 8 … ”

(”Oh, yeh toh UNCLEJI hain”)

“…and I was called Nisarg Mehta.”

“Matlab? You’re not Nishant Vaidya?” (Aditi was now getting totally confused. Not that she needed much to confuse her.

“Oh God, wait. Don’t talk again till I complete myself.”

(Aditi gets taken aback a little at the confident authority shown by Nishant. It tickles her inner self.)

(Nishan continues) “I was Nisarg Mehta till class 9. But then my parents got separated and I started living with my mummy, a Vaidya. Because of the bitterness associated with the whole thing, she changed my name from Nisarg to Nishant. And I became Nishant Vaidya.”

“I don’t believe this!”

“What? I mean you don’t believe that such things can happen or you don’t believe me only?”

“Well, I don’t know …”

(Laughs) “You won’t believe this, but you used to say ‘I don’t know’ even when you were a small kid.”

“What rubbish. How can anyone remember things that happened 14 years ago, especially when those things happen at a very small age.”

“Well Aditi, 14 years ago, I was already 13 years old”

(”Uncleji”)

“I’m sure you would be thinking me to be uncle-like.”

(”WHAT! Is he a mind reader or what?”) “Of course not, 27 is very young.”

“Wow! Though I don’t think you are speaking the truth, it was great to hear that.”

(Smiles) “You do have guts to accuse someone of lying, right on that person’s face.”

“I couldn’t have reached here without guts, you see. Wait, I’ll send you my picture to you.”

(Startled) “What!”

“Yes, I’m sending it.”

“Where!”

“Sent it. You’ll get it in a moment. Check your phone.”

“You know my number.”

(Smiles naughtily) “Yes, Aditi.”

“How?”

“Someone very close to you gave it to me.”

Just then, Aditi’s boss happens to cross Aditi’s desk. Aditi, still shocked at the news of her number being known to Nishant, looks at her boss with a puzzled look. The boss stops and asks in gesture about the person she was talking to.
Aditi silently lips Nishant’s name.

The boss raises her eyebrows in surprise. Suddenly, Aditi’s phone receives an MMS.

“I just got the deliver report. I think you’ve got it. Have a look.”

Aditi does not speak anything and starts opening the message on her phone. The boss waits for a moment and finding Aditi busy with the two phones, leaves the place.

(”Wow! Style bhai hai”)

“Got it?”

“I will see it in the morning. I’m at work at the moment.”

(Laughs) “Ok. No probs.”

There is a long pause. Aditi keeps on looking at Nishant’s picture and Nishant dreams a bit more about the future.

“Hello?”

(Naughtily) “Yes Aditi?”

“Is there anything more?”

“I guess this is enough for the moment. Remember, I’ve made you an offer of you becoming the boss of the Company that you are working in.”

“Oh come on. I don’t want to become any boss-woss.”

“Anyway. And the second proposal from me would be told to you tomorrow morning by uncle-aunty. Your parents i.e.”

“WHAT! You know my parents too?”

“Very, very well.”

“How! Oh my God, what is this, how?”

“Well, apart from many other reasons, I was born at your mum’s hands.”

“What!”

“And that one of the clients of my USA office is your dad’s Company.”

“What!”

(Laughs) “That is a lot of ‘whats’, Aditi.”

“What? I mean …”

Nishant bursts out laughing.

“I don’t believe this. It all feels like some CIA plot.

“Well, it was a plot alright. Because I wanted to be with you since the day you had said you would marry me, as a 6 year-old.”

“Where did that happen?”

“During the play that we had staged in the colony.”

“Oh my God yes! I remember that.”

“Finally.”

“But it was only a play. I was just saying the lines.”

“But I felt them even then, as a 12 year-old.”

“What?”

(Laughs) “Ask your parents about the rest. Thanks for the help, Ms. Aditi.”

As the smiling Nishant puts the phone down, he knows that his dreams were now about to come true. “Wow!”

###

Concluded.

Categories
Writing

Ek Na Ek Din Toh Sab Ka Result Aata Hai

Aur ek din, mera bhi aa hi gaya. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to share it with you because my dad does not want the world to know his only child’s ‘actual’ 12th board results. And the editor of League has flatly refused to play the Goga Kapoor of ‘Kabhi Haan Kabhi Na’ by printing my fake marks in this column. (Damn! Another opportunity to become SRK goes up in smoke.)

Last month I was asking for you to pray for my results. Funnily, this month too I’m going to ask you to do the same – pray for my results. Results of the many admission forms that I’ve filled up. And of the many entrance exams that I’ve given, giving and about to give.

Yeh jeevan ek pariksha hai. “And with this lifestyle, you are going to fail all of them” – my dad would say, when he is in a good mood. When he is in his ‘special’ mood, he generally drills me with his eyes and non-cooperation in conversations.

But hey, that’s going beside the point. The point here is – whether you like it or not, every activity of yours bears results for you! But its only the 12th board results that we GLOVADIs make hue and cry about. Curfew on films, friends, fun, freedom and everything even remotely related to the letter ‘f’. Ouch! Hey dad, I didn’t mean…what I hear from ALL my ‘best friends’ a dozen times a day! Ouch, again!

Anyway, if Bill Gates was killed on the basis of his 12th board results, you would not have been reading this magazine, writing e-mails or generally expressing yourself through computers. Ditto for Dhirubhai Ambani. And I’m not even talking of movie and ROCK stars!

Come on parents, give us a break. It’s just a 12th board result. Why is it being turned into a front page circus?

Yes, bad marks in 12th push back your chance to gain DIRECT entry into any medical or engineering college by an year or two. But there are all India open entrances for such colleges, donation colleges for the well-off and scholarships for the brilliant. And unlike previous years there are more engineering seats in Ahmedabad / Gandhinagar than there are students. Arts and Commerce streams too have similar options.

I’ll be doing B. Sc. Now. And I’m NOT going to get into a good college because of my marks. But don’t every college of Gujarat University read the same books of science? And that of arts and commerce? And do the ‘top’ science / arts / commerce colleges provide placements? I’m told even the government engineering and medical colleges (the most reputed ones of the city) offer that. So what’s the deal here, except the non-required noise?

My dad would not say that to me, but I know that he’s proud of the fact that I’m writing for a classy magazine at 17! It doesn’t pay me much (sorry Editor), but at 17, I feel I have many years ahead to earn. For now, I’m happy with my learning and the pass class.

Categories
Journalism

Couldn’t Make it as an RJ? Well, Radio has More for You

So you stood in long queues for giving your audition for RJ but did not get selected? Well, big deal. Even Amitabh Bachchan was not short-listed by All India Radio. Consider yourself in good company and get into a radio station through some other door!

Yes, in all the hype and hoopla surrounding the job of an RJ, we tend to forget the a career with radio is much more than merely being an RJ. Though, one must confess, RJ-ing rocks! 🙂

A career in radio can see you in any of the following – marketing (hardcore sales to strategy planning), content development (writing scripts for Rjs to creating radio jingles),  engineering (from sound engineering to computer networking) and of course, presentation and announcing (RJ-in). With more than 300 new licenses being awarded to mor than 30 private broadcasters in 91 cities all over India, radio is all set to provide more options than there ever were in the field.

Figure this one out: If the around 300 new radio stations require an average of about 5,000 content hours per radio station per year, there would be a demand of content for 15 Lakh content hours per year by the radio industry! Where is it going to come from? From thousands of creative persons – writers, thinkers, planners, singers, recordists etc – that would need to be hired by the industry.

15 lakh content hours per year would need to be sold to people and advertisers. That would require MBAs and sales whiz-kids.

According to industry estimates, a typical RJ gets a starting pay of Rs 20,000 p.m. – though it depends on the city. A Mumbai RJ would get more than an RJ in Ahmedabad, who in turn would get slightly more than that of Vadodara. Later on, the popular and experienced RJs get around Rs 70,000 to 1 lakh a month in big cities. RJs of smaller cities get around 25-30% less than that.

Similarly, freshers in the production department start at around Rs 20,000 p.m. But if you manage to rise your way up to being the ‘Station Head’, you can hope to earn anywhere between 1 to 3 lakhs – subject of course to experience and performance! 1 to 3 lakhs, whoa!

The base of listeners grew from virtually 0 to about 70% today. Since the listener base is directly correlated to the advertising revenues of radio stations, advertisers are eager to tap this local audience base.
Radio companies, in turn, are hoping to grow from niche-advertising revenues.

As compared to television commercials, radio commercials are relatively economical to produce. Owing to this, advertisers are able to make several creative ads catering to different cities, different day-parts and different brand objectives – and still manage cost-effectiveness.

Most of your current radio heart-throbs probably came without any formal training. But today, there are institutes coming up to train you for a career in radio.

RadioActive Pvt. Ltd, a venture by radio veterans Brian Tellis and Erica D’Souza, offers certificate courses Radio Management-Programming, and Radio Presentation and Announcing. The venture is in collaboration with Xaviers Institute of Communication (XIC), Mumbai.

The syllabus and content has been designed by RadioActive, while XIC will provide the necessary infrastructure and resources. The total duration for each course is 150 hours, distributed over 3-hour lectures, thrice a week and the fees is Rs. 50,000. (Please check the institute for latest figures. League is a mere messenger of information.)

But the other major player – and arguably a much bigger setup – in the field of training for radio is Roshan Abbas’ EMDI Encompass Institute of Radio Management.

It offers a one-year Post Graduate Diploma in Radio Management (PGDRM) (Rs. 40,000), and a three-month part time Certificate in Radio Jockeying (CRJ) (Rs. 30,000).

Want to find out more about them? We’re giving you the contact details of the two here:

Radioactive Pvt. Ltd. (In collaboration with XIC):
Tel: (022) 22621366 / 22621369
Email: contact@radioactive.co.in

EMDI Encompass Institute of Radio Management:
Tel: (022) 26550808 / 26427171
http://www.teachradio.com
Email :info@teachradio.com

However, as in falling over each other to get a certificate in computer  or design courses, the risk lies in the fact that in human intensive industries (where the talent of human beings means more than the ability of machines) like entertainment industry, certificates might not lead you anywhere if you don’t have inherent talent for the job in radio.

For becoming a RJ, of course, a certificate might not do absolutely anything – except teach you about things like distance between your mouth and the mike or the working of the sound console.

So there, take your call. You can become RJ later on too. For the moment, you can try production.

Categories
Writing

Does God Live Absolutely Everywhere?

Orthodox side of every religion, in one way or the other, would teach us that God is present in every single particular of this world – either as a resident or the landlord of that particle. Furthermore, anything that takes place or is made to happen is either God on an auto-pilot mode or acting through a ‘worldly driver’ (human being). And that apart from the teaching of God living in our heart or in our inner soul.

Is that the ONLY or absolute truth? Does God really live everywhere?

If you read the first paragraph again, you would end up feeling like an X-Box 360 or Playstation gaming console – designed by someone, directed by someone, for some purpose. Is that what we humans are; mere puppets of God?

That can’t be true for many reasons. But the biggest one of them all is that I’m sure God would want to give a little more respect to his best creation – the human brain. Of course, some atheists would suggest that it is the other way around, God is in fact the human brain’s best creation. But we shall not get into the subject of the ‘presence’ of God itself. We shall stick to the present subject of the omnipresence (if at all) of God.

According to all religions, God – even at the darkest hour, from all perspectives – stands for everything good. If there is despair, God stands for hope. If there is craving, God stands for contentment. If there is anger, God stands for peace. So on and so forth.

But hey, read all of that again. If God stands for hope, then what is that despair about? What is that despair’s origin and ‘composition’? If God lies ‘within despair’ too – as per the teachings – then “why that despair so despairing for us”? Why isn’t that despair actually hope for us right from the beginning – meaning, in effect, the death of despair (at the hands of God?) right at its birth itself?

Yes, if God stands for hope and God is everywhere, how can despair even exist on this planet?

Alternatively, if God stands for despair too, then how different is HE from us humans, with all our strengths and failings? One often take solace in the presence of more of the same kind, but he doesn’t surrender himself to them, does he?

The hope vs despair example can be extrapoleted to almost all the sitautions of this world. Some babies are born healthy, some are not. Some women give easy births, some even lose their lives. Some people get away with murders, while some die of a stray sniper bullet. Some people lose their lives to evil people, while some die at the hands of nature’s fury. Some lead a healthy, happy but short life, while some suffer bad health and unhappy mind for long years.
If God is everywhere, why is there such blatant ‘discrepancy of destinies’?

I believe that God has sent us here to this planet and has now moved back. HE is watching every move of every individual and giving ‘grades’ in accordance with a person’s conduct under various circumstances. But HE is not ‘in the ring’. He is like a cricket coach, done with his job and now watching – from a distance – the performances of his wards.

Once back in the pavilion, the players would either get a sack or get the cap for another match. The coach is just at one place. At a place from where he can see all the players. And if players concentrate a little hard, they too can see the coach in the team balcony. Now, whether to play straight or tamper with the ball is in the hands of the players.

So take your call friends. You can do whatever you wish to. God would not stop you from doing it. HE can’t; because he is sitting at a distance. But HE can see us all at all times. Because he is the only one amongst us allowed to use the binoculars and log in our every move in his computer.

God is not everywhere.

Categories
Journalism

Which Public’s Property is it Anyway?

Twenty two people had lost their lives in the recent week-long agitation by Gujjars for inclusion in the ST category. While the human casualty, fortunately, was limited to 1 in the Dera Sachcha Sauda and Akal Takht confrontation, shops and business establishments had suffered a major blow. We are citing only these examples here not because they are novel in nature, but only because the latest in the series of travesty of justice in our nation.

In fact, so prevalent, and consequently so tragic is the problem that it has now become comical! A participant of a popular comedy show on TV had once mentioned, “in our country even if a pig hurts a kid, people would get on to streets and burn a public transport bus. Kyon bhai, did the pig come to the locality in that bus?”

The joke in itself is funny, but it tells a very grim story of India’s utter contempt for public property. In fact, another joke says that the Indian public considers public property as its own property and goes about doing whatever it wants to with it!

The fact of the matter is that even though man is a social animal, the animal instinct is always lurking round the corner. Whether it is about the desire for others’ spouses and wealth or a case of intimidating and harassing someone weaker than us, we humans are always on a lookout for unleashing our inner animal on to the society. And when the first few experiments succeed, without having to pay any price, the act of putting the wild energy to destructive use almost becomes an addiction.

But that is about individuals or a mob. We don’t live in a jungle. There is a desire for a structure or order. And precisely for purpose, we have an entity called government. Unfortunately, governments in India either pander to the baser instincts of individuals or mobs or are scared of the latter.

Conveniently for both the mob and the government, both are faceless entities, which go unpunished for their respective acts. So while a mob can ransack a public bus without getting too personal in its war against, well, anything, government too hides behind the excuse of such acts being “a spontaneous act of anger by general public”.
But what about the loss of public property in the process. Who pays for it?

But before we get too remorseful about destruction of public property, let’s get it clear what constitutes public property.

According to THE PREVENTION OF DAMAGE TO PUBLIC PROPERTY ACT, 1984, public property is defined as follows:
Any property, whether immovable or movable (including any machinery) which is owned by, or in the possession of, or under the control of-

(i) The Central Government;
(ii) Any State Government;
(iii) Any local, authority;
(iv) Any corporation established by, or under, Central, Provincial or State Act;
(v) Any company as defined in Section 617 of the Companies, Act, 1956 (1 of 1956);
(vi) Any institution, concern or undertaking which the Central Government may, notification in the Official Gazette, specify in this behalf.

So, what’s in it for us? Why should we be overtly concerned if some maniac burns down a city bus?

Because, a part of the sales, service and income taxes, along with things like octroi etc that the government collects from us is in the name of such facilities. Now if the government itself doesn’t care for those things, allows them to be destroyed and eventually makes us bereft of those facilities, what are we giving our hard-earned money to the government for? For eg: If the government charges a 2% cess on IT for education and doesn’t make it any better, isn’t that a case of cheating; and looting of your property? Think.

Categories
Journalism

It’s Almost Never Good When Everyone’s Talking about Africa. Sad.

(I) Australian cricket team pulls out of the Zimbabwe tour

It would not have been much of a contest anyway. If the series had been undertaken, very few – even in the cricketing world – would have spared much time on following the series. But now that the series has been called off – or should we say boycotted by Cricket Australia, on strong suggestion from the Australian government, the issue of mixing sports with politics has risen again.

Let’s try and understand the background of the happening.

A group called The Zimbabwe Movement (for Freedom, Democracy, Peace & Prosperity) represents a voice of organisations and nations across the globe about the state of affairs in Zimbabwe.

Robert Mugabe and his Zanu PF party are said to have destroyed all forms of democracy, freedom of speech and human rights in Zimbabwe and are responsible for countless crimes against citizens, including:

  • Murder of over 20 000 people in Matabeleland in the so called Gukurahundi massacres in the early 1980s
  • Intimidation, torture, rape and murder of those who dare to disagree with the regime
  • Silencing free speech through legislative and physical means
  • Promotion of racism by publicly demonising ethnic minorities
  • Starvation of opposition party supporters by denying them access to international food aid – seeking to use food as a political tool
  • Harassment and intimidation of the judiciary, refusal to accept unfavourable judgments and ignoring the country’s constitution
  • Wholesale rigging of state elections. manipulating, beating and killing in order to remain in power.. Hundreds of thousands denied the right to vote for a candidate of their choice.
  • Blatant theft of state funds through massive government corruption and cronyism
  • Abuse of state institutions such as the Police, Army and Central Intelligence Organisation

 

The thing that hackles the ‘western powers’ the most is an act that can only be called ‘reverse racism’ – persecution of ‘whites’ (including cricketers like Andy Flower) and their rights by the entirely ‘black’ Mugabe government.
Would the world have reacted if ‘whites’ were not hurt? Take your call.

(II) Hollywood gets into Darfur, well, in spirit anyway:

Darfur crisis is a violent conflict in the Darfur region of western Sudan between the Sudanese Military and the Janjaweed militia, recruited mostly from tribes on one side and a variety of rebel groups, notably the Sudan Liberation Movement and the Justice and Equality Movement, recruited primarily from the Fur, Zaghawa, and Massaleit ethnic groups.

The Sudanese government, while publicly denying that it supports the Janjaweed, is said to have provided money and assistance to the militia and has participated in joint attacks targeting the land-tilling tribes from which the Darfuri rebels draw support.

The conflict began in February 2003. Unlike in the Second Sudanese Civil War, which was fought between the primarily Muslim north and Christian south, almost all of the combatants and victims in Darfur are Muslim.
The United Nations (UN) estimates that the conflict has left as many as 450,000 dead from violence and disease, while Sudan’s government claims that over 9,000 people have been killed. As ever, the true figure would be somewhere in between, though arguably, more towards the UN figures.

Adding to that is the mind-boggling statistics of 2.5 million getting displaced as of October 2006!

Pertinently though, while the mass media routinely describes the conflict as both “ethnic cleansing” and “genocide,” and the United States government has described it as genocide,the UN has declined to do so. While judiciousness of US governments is always suspect, the lethargy of UN often proves worse than the various mis-adventures of US.

The conflict taking place in Darfur has many interwoven causes. While rooted in structural inequality between the center of the country around the Nile and the ‘peripheral’ areas such as Darfur, tensions were exacerbated in the last two decades of the twentieth century by a combination of environmental calamity, political opportunism and regional politics.

A point of particular confusion has been the characterization of the conflict as one between ‘Arab’ and ‘African’ populations, a dichotomy that one historian describes as “both true and false”.

Interestingly, a fighting between ancient neighbours has caught the fancy of Hollywood. And Darfur peace organisations – real and fakes alike – can look forward to some green paper.