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I’m Waiting for the Nightangle to Stop Singing – 1

The following is an extract from I Am Ahmedabad, a collection of short stories

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Her colleagues at the call center call her the nightingale of the Company. Because she would often make the callers listen to the Company ringtone till they understood the nuances of the composition.

Not that her boss appreciated the approach much. But then, a few perks do come along with your being one of the best human resource glue of the graveyard shift! Ever since Aditi joined the Company, the resignation average of the night shift has come down from two employees per month to one employee in the last six months. Her boss knows that it was, to a great extent, due to Aditi. Unfortunately for him, so does Aditi.

It is not that Aditi is an irresponsible worker. On the contrary, she’s a smart and efficient worker. It’s just that she doesn’t mind having a little fun once in a while. And like all fun-loving people, she is extremely popular with everyone around.

But being popular is not a new thing for Aditi; the 21 year-old, pleasantly plump and very pretty girl has always been her family’s darling. Never a topper, never anything less than above average, taking life in her stride came naturally to her. Maybe because she’s always led a shielded life – a close-knit social group, a school that had a lot of her family friends and other good kids and a call-center job that she neither exactly needed nor had to work hard for. But then, you can’t blame someone for having a good run in life, can you?

Funnily, while almost every boy that has ever been her friend or has seen her feels that she carries a few kilos extra, almost everyone believes that losing those kilos would take away a bit of her magic. And so, as it happens quite rarely actually, boys and girls alike love her the way she is.

What never hurt Aditi’s cause is the fact that she not only can talk politics and a little – or lets say adequate amount – of sports, she’s quite a rage in the pyjama parties that she often throws up at home for her colleagues. Largely because she is often the most vocal and open about sharing her “little brush here and a little squeeze there”. While she would feel quite excited while sharing her stories of occasional touchy-feely-teasy moments with boys, she has this enviable knack of making other girls talk too.

But then, it helps to have a family that allows its only daughter to not only call over about half-a-dozen girls for a night-over at least once a month but also to share small quantities of vodka amongst the group! Yes, a little Vodka; once every few months, in Ahmedabad. Army canteen zindabad!

So there, a hybrid, happy daughter of a Gujarati businessman and a North Indian doctor mummy in Indian Army – that’s what Aditi is. And nothing of that detail ever made any difference to her. Or to her friends. For, when life is beautiful, you generally close your eyes, see heaven with your heart and feel the breeze on your face.

But life at a call center, especially in the graveyard shift can be a little more real than that.

Beep!

“Hi, this is Aditi. How may I help you?”

“Hi, I’m Nishant, calling from 10039876. My DSL connection doesn’t seem to be working since yesterday.”

“Just a moment Mr. Nishant, I’ll have a look of your account in our system. Can I put you on hold for a moment, Mr. Nishant?”

“Don’t have much of an option do I?”

(Taken aback initially, Aditi smiles at the response) “Well, Mr. Nishant, hearing a pleasing music would be better for you than hearing the noise of the keyboard while I look into the matter.”

“I’m fine with the keyboard noise Ms. Aditi. And maybe I can talk with you too.”

(“Saala chaalu, flirt; ladki dekhi nahin ki chalu ho gaya”) “I’m sorry Mr. Nishant, as per our company laws, I can’t …”

“I know all your company laws Ms. Aditi …”

“I’m sorry Mr. Nishant but …”

“I also know that they call you the nightingale of your Company … Ms. Aditi”

There’s silence for a moment.

(With intrigue and irritation) “Who’s this?”

“Told you Ms. Aditi, this is Nishant here”

There’s silence again.

“Just a moment, Mr. Nishant”

And Aditi quickly puts the caller on hold, making him here the Company ringtone. And immediately shouts towards her colleagues “Does anyone know any Nishant?”

“Shh”, her colleagues immediately shout back at her. And her boss, who was passing through her end of the cubicles, stops and gives her an angry, cold look. “Meet me after the call”.

“Yes sir.”

But before she could finish saying that, Aditi notices that the caller had put the phone down. The call may have ended, but the matter had not. Aditi searches for the account of the caller on her system.

‘Nishant Vaidya, NishTECH Valley Pvt. Ltd., S G Highway, Ahmedabad’

(“Who is this guy; I don’t know him. [pause] Anyway, time to face the boss’ music”)

“Can I come in, boss?”

Her boss merely gestures here to enter his cabin and sit. Aditi promptly gets seated in front of the boss.

“What was that Aditi?”

“Sir …”

“There is a difference between a cafetaria and the work cubicle, right?”

“The caller was trying to get personal with me”

“Don’t we go through a training to tackle those kind of callers?”

“No, we don’t.”

(Startled) “Excuse me?”

“Well, sir, he was not getting abusive or anything. He just said that he knows that everyone calls me a nightingale here”

(Pauses a little, thinks) “Must be an old friend of yours”

“I’ve never had a friend called Nishant Vaidya.”

“What?”

“Why is that surprising? Am I supposed to have a friend by that name?”

(laughs) “No, I mean. Are you sure the person’s name was Nishant Vaidya?’

“Yes sir.”

“Did you check his details on the system?”

“Yes I did. He’s with some firm called NishTECH Valley Pvt. Ltd.”

“He himself called you?”

(With a surprised look and tone) “Yes. Why?”

“So, he had called for a genuine problem or he just wanted to talk with you?”

“The system does not show anything. (Irritated) But what is this about? Do you know him?”

(Pauses, guages Aditi’s mood) “Ah well, sort of. I mean he’s a fellow IT guy.”

There is a discomforting silence in the room. Aditi keeps looking at her boss with an expression that spoke of her smelling something fishy.

The boss finds it difficult to hold any longer and gives up:

“Well, Nishant Vaidya is a NRI …well, not actually an NRI …he is someone who’s in the US for the last 8 years and is now coming back to Ahmedabad.”

Aditi finds things getting increasingly curious, while her boss, for no apparent reason, gets increasingly nervous. And as Aditi merely keeps looking at him, the boss is forced to speak again:

“Well, he’s coming back to Ahmedabad for good. And he wants to grow through the route of acquisition of an IT or ITES Company. For the purpose …(pauses) he’s had two talks with our management too.”

There is now complete silence, as both keep looking at each other, thinking their own, different thoughts. Aditi gradually gets the import of her immediate boss’ last statement, as her face starts getting a little agitated.

“Our Company is getting sold?”

(Thinks for a moment) “Well, let’s say some other management might takeover this Company.”

“Oh come on sir. At 3 in the morning, you don’t want to give me political correctness, do you?”

“I’m just doing my job.”

“No, you are not.”

The boss looks startled.

“If you were doing your job, you would have told us earlier that we might lose our jobs soon.”

“Hey, who talked of anyone losing jobs here!”

“Doesn’t that happen all the time in the case of change of ownership?”
“It doesn’t…”
“Oh, so those rumours were all correct! Oh my God! Kavita and Piyush were talking about this, like two months ago. Oh my God, has it been happening for that long?”

“You trust Kavita and Piyush? I’m amazed.”

“Well, why not? They are my colleagues.”

“Oh I see. So what was it when a certain Team Leader called Aditi had claimed that all that those two want to do is to get into each other’s pants!”

(Gets just a bit defensive) “So? That doesn’t make them unreliable.”

The boss can’t help but break into a sarcastic half smile:

“Aditi, we’re wasting our time here. I think you should go back to your workstation.”

Aditi, never a person who could leave a matter without seeing it’s logical conclusion gets irritated; and speaks just a bit loudly. Not much, and yet, a bit too loudly for a boss:

“And do what, wait to be kicked out of the job?”

(With a stern, piercing look) “Ms Aditi, let’s not forget the hierarchy of this office.”

(Almost immediately, sensing her mistake) “I’m sorry sir. But sir, why haven’t we been told about this?”

“Simply because it is Nishant Vaidya who has come up with the proposal – out of the blue, just last week. No one of our management had even given any thought to such a scenario before that …”

(Pauses, as both continue their look on each other)

“And I’m only your boss. I’m not the Company’s boss. I’m not involved in a $1 Million deals …even at 38”

(”Oops! His raw nerve, again”) “I’m sorry sir. I didn’t mean to reach here. But I just believe that management not telling their employees about a possible sale of their Company is just not done. I think I’ll have to rethink about this job.”

The boss, almost immediately, breaks into a wry smile.

“You’re so predictable, Aditi. And so lovely. Please don’t change.”

“Where did that come from sir?”

(Smiles) “Never mind. Go to your desk. You’re still working for this Company. Till 6 in the morning anyway, right?”
Aditi reaches back to her desk. And the moment she sits down, the phone rings …

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To  be continued …

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Writing

There is No Such Thing as Generation Gap

There is no such thing as generation gap. Heck, the whole problem is about my previous generation coming too close to me. Forget gap, there’s a generation overlap at my home. My parents are all over me, all the time, for everything. Generation gap my foot!

They say that the ‘phenomenon’ of generation gap first occurred in the 1920s, due to the older generation having just fought in the war finding it inappropriate that the younger were out at dance halls and listening to jazz music.
Which dance bar …er…I mean dance hall did I ever go to? And hey, my dad fought no world war – not outside my mom’s territory anyway.

But I guess my parents couldn’t have borrowed the reason for their panga with me from the 1920s. They only look old, Ranjib-ed and bose-d; but they are actually quite young. Young enough to be able to always keep me on toes with the thought of having a sibling. A sibling? Now, at this age? Aw, come on, I’m 17. I can’t have a baby bro or sis who is 18 years younger to me. Now THAT would be what I call generation gap.

But hey, that was like giving birth to a new topic. No, no, no; I don’t want to talk about anything but the age-old yap called generation gap.

Ever since I was born, my parents have been on my case. My mom, of course, had started taking control of me even earlier than that! If only my dad was someone better, I would’ve ‘formed myself’ within my mother, hearing his pearls of wisdom. Or maybe he deliberately kept me away from becoming Abhimanyu and getting killed within a deadly ‘Chakravyuh’. Oh my God; yes, my dad’s an angel! Or else, at 17, I had only one more year to go!

But hey, wait a minute. Maybe my dad’s not such a God after all. Maybe he’s a sadist. He wants me to live longer. No, no; he wants me to live longer WITH HIM. Heck, even a moment with him feels like an year anyway. “Zindagi lambi nahin, badi honi chahiye”, babu moshai’s late friend had once said. With so much suffocation around at home, “na toh meri zindagi lambi ho rahi hai, na hi main bada ho pa raha hoon”!

I have seen so many households where dad is a friend and mom is almost a girl friend. (Eew! Doesn’t sound too pristine, does it? I know.) But at my home, mom’s just a stuffing machine (stuffs food, clothes, morals, time-table and other pukes into or onto me, depending upon her mood) and dad’s a recovery agent (”give me your report card”, “give me those books with pictures in your bag”, “give me your teacher’s number” and other diarrhoea).

So you see, I either get pumped in or get frisked out. One way or the other, there is at least one hand on me – generally around my neck.

And then they say I don’t understand them. Heck, I want to understand you mom, dad. But for that to happen, I’ll have to be able to see you. You guys remain far too close to me. Two generations Bose-s are almost glued to each other. Give me some space guys. Give me some gap within generations. Show me that there is, after all, a thing called generation gap.

Categories
Journalism

Give Your Career a High

They say Amdavadi youth do not join the armed forces. Setting aside being too technical by citing the examples of our cousin and his uncle’s son, we’ll have to admit that it is just about near the truth. Just as Sikhs of Punjab do not venture into stock market, we don’t venture into the armed forces – big deal, right?

Well, the example cited and the logic extracted from that is accurate in itself but may not necessarily be the best way to move forward in life – whether or not we join the armed forces.

In any case, can there be a ‘genetic’ reason behind our not opting for the armed forces? Of course not. A fit person is a fit person irrespective of his lineage and a slouch is a slouch.

So, it basically boils down to the fact that armed forces just don’t attract us Amdavadi youth as a career for a good and comfortable future.

But how inaccurate can that be?

Indian armed forces stand for the most ideal life and lifestyle within the cramped-for-room-and-inspiration surroundings of ours. Apart from the respect that comes naturally with it, a stint with the armed forces almost guarantees a support system for all faculties of a good family life – viz medical cover and best of medical facilities for the family, the absolute best of sporting and recreation facilities, best of schooling for the kids of the family, concession in goods and travel and most of all, exposure to a meaning in life.

The armed forces actively encourages its personnel to go for skill augmentation. A lot of defence personnel opt for learning computers, some hone their management skills while some others express themselves through an occasional brush with the film or music world. Really, the sky is the limit when you join the armed forces. And hey, we aren’t even talking about the adrenalin that runs across one’s soul while wearing the uniform and going for the daily drill.

The only medal winner of the last Olympics, Major Rajyawardhan Rathore has often said that it is his stint with Army that gives him the edge over other competitors. Simply because you not only get the attitude and environment but also the best of techniques at the armed forces. Needless to add here, Rathore’s spunk can be replicated in other walks of life too.

We’ve seen all sort of fake losers give a tribute to the armed forces by having an ‘Army’ sticker on their bikes and cars. Doesn’t it say something?

And hey, didn’t you read about a few ex-armymen studying at IIM (A)?. A fit body, a sound mind and a great future, does it get any better than this?

All things said and decimated, the real truth of life is that there is more to life than a normal rat race. We say, if you want to race, race for the country. There’s no greater pride than that. Your mother, sister and girl friend would agree.

So, what’s holding you back? Go through these sites  TODAY:

Indian Army Website:
www.indianarmy.nic.in

Indian Army Recruitment Site
www.joinindianarmy.nic.in

Indian Air Force Website
www.indianairforce.nic.in

Indian Air Force Recruitment Site
Www.careerairforce.nic.in

Indian Navy Website
Www.indiannavy.nic.in

Indian Navy Recruitment Site
www.nausena-bharti.nic.in

Categories
Journalism

Thanks for the Memories, Prince!

“There is a widely held and quite erroneous belief that cricket is just another game”, Duke of Edinburgh had remarked. It would be an equally erroneous belief to consider Brian Charles Lara as just another cricketer.

Brian Charles Lara – as a jingle of yesteryears used to say – bas naam hi kaafi hai.

We can talk about his many records and an impressive stack of statistics on the cricket pitch, but we would rather talk about the magic that mere numbers cannot capture.

Take a moment and think of one player in the history of the game who had to take the burden of a team as mediocre as the Windies team of our generation, and take that for more than a decade. Chances are that you would come up with a naught.

And yet, even that is not the biggest reason for making him a special player. He was a special player because he made people fall in love with the game; just about the way he himself asked the crowd that had jammed in for his farewell match. The resounding chorus of a ‘yes’ was always going to be boringly expected.

Bat raised high in the air, the weight poised on a bent front knee, the eyes low and level – that’s how we shall always remember you. And yes, we shall also remember you by the way the timing and placement of your shots made the fielders around you look ridiculous.

For the sake of putting numbers beside tricks, here are his career statistics:

Tests Matches:
Matches:     131
Runs:    11,953
Highest:    400 not out
Average:    52.88

One Day Internationals:
Matches:    299
Runs:    10,405
Highest:    169
Average:    40.48

For one last time, here’s a little bit of trivia about Lara:

  • Brian is 10th of his parents’ 11 children;
  • Brian was in the football and table tennis junior teams of his country;
  • Brian had joined Harvard Coaching Clinic at the age of 6
  • He had made his debut against Pakistan and had made 44 & 6
  • When he made 400 no, he had become the first batsman ever to reclaim a Test world record
  • He bowled leg breaks too!
Categories
Writing

Justice is What Chief Justices Read Out, Right?

What is eventual justice; and who decides that? While it may not be a subject of much thought in instances where there is a ‘clear’ demarcation between the ‘black’ from the ‘white’, the issue becomes a serious food of thought when a couple of people decide upon abstract issues like morality, ethics, sensibilities. Is it fair to have a world where the ‘assessment of the selected few’ is deemed more evolved than that of others? Alas! There’s no other world.

Suppose Dawood Ibrahim were to be caught tomorrow by sleuths of the Research and Analysis Wing (RAW), India’s external intelligence agency, would it be fair to eliminate him at the first opportune instant or would that be legally (or constitutionally) and morally unsuitable?

The answer – at least in public forums – HAS to be a resounding ‘no’. “Why, we have to have faith in the system and allow the law to take its course”, the appalled humanists would argue, before adding, “and if he is found guilty, he should be hanged”.

And if the reaction does not surprise us, it is simply because we are ‘conditioned’ to follow a certain method and format of humanity and humanism in life. Everything between our birth and the eventual death is confined within that ‘conditioning’.

And yet, doesn’t the approach say something like “the men in khaki do not have the mandate to kill him with gun today, but the men in black can have the mandate to kill him tomorrow with a rope”?

Don’t get me wrong here; I’m NOT, under any circumstances, advocating the so-called ‘encounters’ by the men in khaki. We are not talking about the, again, so-called D Company and its long list of ‘legally and morally unsuitable’ acts. In fact, the issue here is not even crime and the best mode of answering it with ‘appropriate justice’. The issue here is about our ‘conditioning’ in life. Conditioning about abstract and thoroughly contextual entities like ‘justice’.
Before we move any further with the topic, and because justice – at least from one perspective – is a subject of philosophy too, let’s see what has been said on the subject by one of the early thinkers. In Human, All Too Human (Menschliches, Allzumenschliches) – a book by philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, originally published in 1878 – Nietzsche challenges the notion that ‘the world’ treats everyone fairly:

“One common false conclusion is that because someone is truthful and upright toward us he is speaking the truth. Thus the child believes his parents` judgments, the Christian believes the claims of the church`s founders. Likewise, people do not want to admit that all those things which men have defended with the sacrifice of their lives and happiness in earlier centuries were nothing but errors. Perhaps one calls them levels of truth. Basically, however, one thinks that if someone honestly believed in something and fought for his belief and died it would be too unfair if he had actually been inspired by a mere error. Such an occurrence seems to contradict eternal justice. Therefore the hearts of sensitive men always decree in opposition to their heads that there must be a necessary connection between moral actions and intellectual insights. Unfortunately, it is otherwise, for there is no eternal justice.”

There is no eternal justice he said. Many – and I subscribe to that school of thought – have interpreted the word ‘eternal’ as not only from the perspective of time but also from that of (geographical & cultural) location. For we believe that the problem with a ‘consistent conditioning’ – i.e. a steadfast belief in one set of methods and morals – is that it often does not take into account the varying nature of conditions. And with that, we also mean the ‘conditioning’ of the men involved in the judicial process too.

If you are born in Varanasi and have grown up along side the various Hindu scriptures, beliefs and reverences, it is possible for you to smell blasphemy at the smallest deviation from the normal etiquette towards anything related to Hindu religion (or Sanatan Dharma, as the original and true name goes). And then, if you happen to be the Chief Justice of a High Court and are listening to a public interest litigation (PIL) with regards to ‘perceived notion of hurt sensibilities of Hindus’, there are chances of your going a bit harsher on the alleged offender (more likely to be a painter, filmmaker, musician etc) than what an atheist would have. It holds true for a person of any faith or background.

Point being, a Judge too, after all, is a human being. Her psychological make-up and the ability to arrive at a judgement is invariably shaped by her family and social conditioning.

Morever, since every individual is shaped up by a varying family and neighbourhood conditioning, how can every one come up with the same assessment of a worldly happening? For a Judge who has grown up in poverty, theft of a daily wage earner’s bicycle would be just as big an offence as the theft of a Mercedes benz of a businessman. But for a Judge who has grown up in swanky C G Road or S G Highway, the bicycle theft would be a minor case of ‘routine happening’. So, in case of a team (or ‘bench’ as they call it in legal parlance) of three Judges, the ‘truth’ is decided by a vote – with the majority vote deciding the ‘justice’.

Now how different is it from the saying ‘might is right’, or the more scathing “jiski laathhee uski bhains”?

The closest analogy for that would be the fact that some people may not have voted for BJP in Gujarat, others may not have voted for Congress at the center. But the party which gets the majority vote gets the “right to rule” – or right to form the government anyway. But is that right correct? But if that is not correct then what is the alternative? Because not in the next ten trillion light years would every individual of a state would vote for the same party.

Does that mean that as in politics, a judgement based on merit or a judgement by any human on a fellow human being basically reflects the truth that there is no alternative (TINA)?

Yes, that’s precisely what it is. If we don’t allow fellow humans to judge us and mete out justice, there would be absolute anarchy. Allowing the chosen few – who, at least in judiciary, come through a rigorous process – to play God is a small price to pay to make this world go round.

So, just as “history is what the historians wrote”, justice too – in a way – is what the chief justices read out. Does it make sense? Well, you are your own judge here.

Categories
Journalism

Islamic World’s Symbol of Democracy & Secularism Fights to Retain its Character

Unlike most of the Arab countries and other Islamic nations of the world, Turkey practices politics within a framework of a secular parliamentary representative democratic republic, whereby the Prime Minister of Turkey is the head of government, and of a pluriform multi-party system. Executive power is exercised by the government. Legislative power is vested in both the government and the Grand National Assembly of Turkey. The Judiciary is independent of the executive and the legislature. Its current constitution was adopted on November 7, 1982 after a period of military rule, and enshrines the principle of secularism.

Turkey’s political system is based on a separation of powers. Its constitution is called Anayasa or Constitution.

But it’s that constitution that seems to be under threat, from hardline Islamists of the ruling government itself!

With fears of reversal of the secular nature of their constitution, Turks have started rallying together to fight any assault on the nature and character of the constitution.

Cumhuriyet Mitingleri or ‘The Republic Protests’ represents a series of peaceful mass rallies in Turkey that had taken place in 2007. The first one took place in Ankara on 14 April just two days before the start of the presidential election process. The second one took place in Istanbul on 29 April. Third and fourth rallies had taken place consecutively in Manisa and Çanakkale on 5 May. A fifth rally is scheduled to take place on 13 May in İzmir. (League would have gone to press prior to the date)

The April 14 protest rally was one of the largest that Turkey has seen in years. The target of the first protest was the possible presidential candidacy of the current Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan (the outcome of which will be determined by the Turkish Grand National Assembly, in which Erdoğan’s Justice and Development Party (AKP) has a healthy majority).

The size of the rallies may be unprecedented for the recent years, but Turkey’s preservation and maintenance of its secular identity has been an issue and source of tension long before the demonstration.

In the past, Erdoğan has spoken out against the active restrictions on wearing the Islamic-style head scarves in government offices and schools, and taken steps to bolster religious institutions. According to the Guardian Unlimited, Erdoğan showed his Islamist nature when he initiated a move in 2004 to criminalize adultery, which eventually failed under intense pressure from the secularist forces in the country and the European Union, which Turkey has been trying to join.

General Yaşar Büyükanıt, chief of the Turkish military, warned against Islamic fundamentalism in October 2006. Prime minister Erdoğan replied, stating that there was no such threat. In a press conference two days prior to the demonstration Büyükanıt stated: “We hope that someone is elected president who is loyal to the principles of the republic — not just in words but in essence.” This statement was widely interpreted as a hint from the General urging Erdoğan not to run!

This is an unique feature of Turkish politics. The secular nature of the country was obtained almost by force by the Turkish army, under the leadership of Mustafa Kemal Attaturk, the father of Turkish nation. And even today, the armed forces are ever vigilant about any attack on that fiber of the constitution.

For once, in one corner of the world, a proactive army is good for the general populace.