Categories
Writing

WC ’07 Debacle: Reports Submitted by Plaers & Coach (Kitli Times)

Copies of the very confidential and potentially fiery reports submitted by the Coach and players to BCCI are now with KT. We were surprised by the candour with which all the concerned have poured their heart out on the issues surrounding the World Cup debacle. Here’s a sneak peek for you. Remember, you got it first on KT.

Greg:
Obviously everyone’s extremely  disappointed with the results. And a lot of talk is going around about a lot of things. But I would like to make one thing very clear – there are NO attitude problems; there is NO groupism in the team and the seniors really, really TAKE GOOD CARE of the juniors.
That probably comes from the fact that India is a great country; with a  great culture. It is a peace loving country – as it should be. The fans are really great and peace loving – as they should be. As they really should be.

PS 1: Pawar, mate, I don’t want to live in a hotel. Can you get me into some good place, like Bombay Hospital or something? NOW.
PS 2: I’ll email or sms the other half of my report to you from Australia.

Rahul:
The boys played really well. Unfortunately we could not play as well as we would have probably liked to. But full credit to the boys. I mean, it’s kind of sad that we did not get the results that we probably would have liked; but the boys played really well. I hope we can take out a few things from the contest and build a team for the next world cup.

PS 1: I’m ready to continue.

Sachin:
I’m sad and hurt. After 17 years of playing for the country, it seems I will have to play for 4 more years. I feel tired. But my commitment cannot be questioned. By person of any nationality. I have given my heart and soul to score over 14,000 runs. I’m sure that a few hundred timely runs would help us win the next World Cup.

PS 1: I’m ready to lead the team

Sourav:
I’m playing well. My records show it. I consider the knock of 60-odd runs in 120-odd balls against Bangladesh as my best contribution in the World Cup. As I said, I’m playing well. And I plan to continue playing for India for at least a couple of more years.

PS 1: I’m ready to lead again

Virender:
We played three games there and I got a century in one of them. A player is only as good as his last two games. And I average over 70 in my last two games. I’m playing well. And I have no complaints against any Australian.

PS 1: I’m ready to be vice captain

Sreesanth:
I bowled Veeru twice a day in nets. Rahul didn’t find it good enough.

Anil:
I have retired.

PS 1: You know why.
PS 2: I’m willing to come back if you insist enough.

Ajit:
I don’t know what is to be written here. I would say that whatever Sachin says is true.

PS 1: I’m ready to play under Sachin.

Harbhajan:
I still remember Australia’s tour to India when we beat them in test series. It was a high point in my career. I will try to reach that status again. Dada says I can do that if I play under him.

PS 1: I’m ready to play under dada

Zaheer:
People say that the moment I  bowled the first ball of our match against Sri Lanka wide, down the leg side, they were reminded of the 2003 Final. And that they knew then that we would lose. I gave only 10 runs in the first over this time, as against 15 in the 2003 final. And we still lost. So, I guess it is all destiny.

PS 1: I’m ready to play under dada

Yuvraj:
I don’t care what media writes. I don’t care for anyone else too. I played well and would have won the match for India if Rahul had not run me out. Sachin is right about commitment. Rahul is a very good man.

PS 1: I’m ready to play under dada

Irfan:
Shaayad Allah ko manzoor nahin thha ki main ek bhi match kheloon. Thheek hai. Abhee toh umra padi hai.

Dinesh:
I fielded well in the nets and never gave the seniors any reason for complaints.

PS 1: Did you read the article in which Greg talked of me as the future captain?
PS 2: I did not pay him.

Mahender Singh:
Sometimes it works. Some times it does not. This time it did not. Bas.

Categories
Design Activism Writing

Poster Design – 6 Months of League Magazine

Categories
Journalism

Remembering that Historic February

February 1974 is mentioned in bold letters in the modern history pages of not only Ahmedabad but also of the young, democratic Indian state.

In February 1974, what started as an argument over a 20% increase in the hostel food bill at L. D. Engineering College, had snowballed into a massive public agitation. The movement, quite remarkably, had not only ended up toppling the Gujarat state government of that time but also played due role in Indira Gandhi imposing the infamous emergency! This significant chapter of India’s yet young democracy had come to be known as Nav Nirman (Recreation or Reinvention or Reconstruction).

For many weeks in succession, initially Ahmedabad, and then the rest of Gujarat was gripped by a wave of that unprecedented socio-political phenomenon. Riots had soon left over hundred reported (official figures) deaths, scores of serious injuries and immense destruction of public and private properties. On February 9, the then Chief Minister of Gujarat was forced to resign under the pressure of higher-ups in Delhi. President’s rule was finally clamped in Gujarat on March 15.

In every sense of the word, the movement was unprecedented and historic in nature. Never before in the young democracy (post independence) had a mass movement – initiated by students – had such an impact on the Indian polity. It made clear the power of people in democracy and paved way for a sense of fear in the minds of politicians with regards mob fury. And mind you, there was no television of any significance then. So, 24X7 propagation of any activity to every nook and corner of the society through ‘breaking news’ was not available to the players of the movement. It was through public meetings, word-of-mouth, pamphlets and reporting by a handful of newspapers.

The reason for remembering it now is that today, very few social movements – that are really mass and really sustainable – rise from college campuses. While some campuses have now been reduced to talks about record pay packages, some others resemble he designer talk-show studios of the new-age television channels. While a few are home to obnoxious muscle power of the stooges of the various political parties, few others face acute absence of student participation even in cultural events.

Admittedly, the youth goes to university to get education and its primary goal is to excel in that. But what would have happened to Iraq of the present day if a few hundred thousand students had led a consistent movement to throw away the Saddam regime peacefully, from within? Their country might not have been facing a very real danger of disintegration. On the other hand, if students across the US had joined hands in opposing President Bush’s plan, US would not have lost 1000-plus young and precious lives. Trust your instinct, it is not as improbable as it reads.

Youth of our society is like Lord Hanuman, it does not fully recognise its own strength.

It is time that the youth of Ahmedabad realises that they do not exist in a socio-political vaccum. If they do not increase their stake in society, the society would push them in the corner. From moral brigade hunting them down in public parks to the neighbourhood challenging their profession and timings, the list of misfortune would be endless and self-inflicted. And mind you, neither of hose two, mundane examples talk even remotely of nation building. Simply because that can wait. Also, if the possibility of personal misfortune cannot move a section of the society, collective, distant good fortune can hardly be an incentive.

Categories
Cinema Journalism

Would a Fahrenheit 9/11 Ever be Made in India?

Is cinema allowed to make a point in India? Or is the whole point is making sugar-candies for NRIs? I’ve got no problem with that – heck, I actually love them. But what if I want to see a direct political film, in theater? Would I be safe?

This is not going to be anywhere close to being a verbose write-up about freedom of expression. Simply because a few million souls are already doing that out there. And there is not much to add to that. We would be using this space to just sit back and think.

While a film-maker has to invariably think from the perspective of the audience, we, the much feared audience do not give too much to the travails of the film-makers. Luckily, we don’t have to think about that here too. For, this write-up asks us audience to think about our own selves.

‘Think’, because what goes around comes around. If we are fine with not being allowed to watch a socially-relatable film today, tomorrow we might be told to not watch any kind of cinema. After all, if today’s taboo is tomorrow’s token in a naturally progressive society, how far can the opposite of that be in a regressive society!

We’ve chosen the example of Fahreinheit 9/11 here simply to highlight the contrast in the civil societies of the world’s two most important democracies. The question here is not whether Fahrenheit 9/11 was an objective, non-partisan piece of (docu) art or not. It probably wasn’t entirely so – inspite of being an engaging piece of craft. But the subject here is whether we are free enough to make and watch a film like that? Can we be so unambiguous and blatant in our portrait of the President, Prime Minister or even a Chief Minister of India? We all know the answer, don’t we? And yet, we don’t know why!

Are people so naive that a single three-hour film would turn their understanding of an issue on its head? It did not happen in USA – what with George Bush winning the election with a better margin.

And it won’t happen here too. Especially since we barely have a culture for serious cinema. Except in certain pockets of the nation, we Indians do not exactly treat cinema as food for soul. Logically, anything that is not considered serious enough would more often than not fail to evoke a serious reaction.

And even if the ‘sentiments’ are hurt, honest, hardworking and law-abiding citizens do not go on rampage ransacking public property. Those who do, do not need any excuse. So, what’s the point of the ‘ban brigade’ anyway? If we can elect governments, we can digest cinema too. Remember that.

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Can we make an uncharitable film about the Prez, PM or CM & get it released?

Fahrenheit 9/11 is an award-winning documentary film by American filmmaker and political activist Michael Moore. It throws a harsh and critical look at George W. Bush, his presidency and the War on Terrorism. The film had generated a great deal of controversy because of its content and The Los Angeles Times described the film as “an alternate history of the last four years on the U.S. political scene.”

The movie begins by questioning whether friends and political allies of George W. Bush at Fox News Channel (including his cousin, John Ellis) tilted the election of 2000 by prematurely declaring Bush the winner. It then questions whether the voting controversy in Florida, and its handling by the responsible authorities, constituted election fraud!

Although claimed a documentary, the film has been called (Democratic Party) propaganda, because of its shrill anti Bush tone.

But the subject here is that the (docu) filmmaker not only made an absolutely uncharitable and potentially immensely damaging film about the ruling administration but also got away with releasing the film and making more than $120 million at the box-office!

And yet, George Bush won the next election. That is the beauty of democracy; everyone has the right to put his case; and the general public takes the eventual call.

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Categories
Book Extracts Shorts Writing

Yes, I Know I Should Not …

The following is an extract from I Am Ahmedabad, a collection of short stories

###

Yes, I know I should not,
Spend the night in your thoughts.
My eyes search for the morning,
My heart aches for the morning,
How I wish it were a world,
With no night before the morning.
But, I know I should not,
Spend the night in your thoughts.

But I can’t help it. I love you. I love you. I love you. And I know that you know it. You may not say that ever, but I know that you love me too. After all, you were the one who had proposed to me in class 12th. You were the one who used to come early to school so that you could watch me coming. And you were the one who would rush after school so that you could stand outside my society and … again … see me coming! So cute you were. I love you. Muah!

I can’t believe this. It’s 2 o’clock in the night and all I can do is smile, smile and smile more. Tomorrow you will be here. Yippee! I’ll hug you hard and then kick you hard too. Bugger kahin ke! You thought I’ll not know if you don’t tell me that you’re coming? What a stupid idea of planning a surprise for me, but telling Kavita and Anup about it. I think US jaake you’ve become a dodo like that Bush.

Waise, that toh you always were. I mean, how can someone plead a rickshaw-wala to allow him to drive the rickshaw? And you thought Kavita and I would have sat with the driver while you drove an auto rickshaw? But it was so funny. But I think if me and Kavita were not there, that driver would have given you one tight slap. Alright, I know you were kidding. I still remember how a huge crowd had built up, right outside Fun Republic.

But it’s not always funny. I will never forget how you had ganged up with Kavita to put that whole drama of going down on one knee at the Law Garden CCD and proposing. I’m sure you’ll remember how many days you had send the ‘sorry’ cards and flowers and chocolates to make me your friend again. I still can’t understand how a guy can play with the heart of a girl, and that too  in full public view!

Never thought ever in my life,
You would end up being my life.
It’s you that I breathe for,
It’s you that I’m here for in life.

And then that whole confusion between Kavita and me. “Do you still like him?”, I remember Kavita asking me.

Of course, I did hit back by doing my own drama. “I think I do”, I had told her with a grim face. Oh my God, you should’ve seen her face then. It was only when I burst out laughing that she had started breathing again.

And then you had to go to US. I don’t understand this – why would one go to do MBA in the US when he can work hard a little and do it here in Vastrapur, at IIMA itself. I guess it’s easier to do it in USA. Oops! No offence meant honey. It’s just that I thought you were more keen on some good legs and fast cars than your MBA itself. And why not. If that’s what you want, that’s what you should have.

I remember how you’d once said, “I wish Kavita had your legs, it would have been so perfect then”. I think Kavita had come to know of it; for, she had once asked me about the method of toning legs. “Use them a little”, I had told her. We had such a laugh. I think we both had goose pimples merely imagining the import of my advice. And now I really feel jealous of her legs.
Hmmm!
Kavita and Anup were both jumping with excitement when they were here in the evening. It felt so good. Just like old days. It’s just that Anup was acting a bit funny with me. I nuess the excitement of a couple meeting after may years was getting on to his hormones. He kept giving me that stupid puppy look and smile. Man, you would’ve bashed your best friend if you had seen how he was looking at me. But then, all men are the same. Legs, long legs in short skirts – that’s what you all want.

It’s so much fun to say that even when we girls don’t always mean it. ha ha

The good thing about not sleeping at night is that you can get a lot of time to get ready for the big morning. Mum-dad are not too happy at my going alone so early in the morning. But then, they know and trust me. They know and trust you too. So, I guess they understand what I feel for you. And why it is so beautiful and painful at the same time.

Hmmm!

Even Kalupur looks clean early in the morning. But oh my God, look at the crowd at the station. One would think that Amitabh Bachchan is coming. I know how you hate him, simply because you’re such a shorty. Yes, shorty, shorty, shorty. Do what you want to do, I’m gonna call you that. 🙂 Kidding honey.

Is that the train? No, I think it is Gujarat Mail, coming from Mumbai. Yes, that’s Gujarat Mail. Wonder when Gujarat Express would come at the platform. It’s so sweet to see so many people wait for their loved ones and get excited at merely sighting the coach number that they’ve been told.

I wonder if that girl in long skirt is in the same boat that I am. Nah! Her man is here. Whereas you would be at the airport at this hour. With Kavita.

There comes Gujarat Express; finally! I love Kavita; but I love you too. Hence, I’m going away from Ahmedabad. For as long as you are here. Love you.

###

Categories
Writing

jobs@gurubhai.coN (heavy rush, buy your seat now)

We seem to be living in an age of ‘gurus’. If you’ve got a US visa you can become ‘that mystic man from India’ and then write books, criticise governments and basically enjo

“Yeh duniya ek rangmanch hai babu moshai”, Rajesh Khanna had so memorably told Amitabh in the cult classic Anand. But Neel Shah is not sure if Khanna had in mind the breed of ‘Gurubhai’ who’ve made a career out of turning this world into a farcical stage.

The problem with the rat race is that even if you win the race, you’re still a rat. Add to it the fact that we don’t seem to be winning the race anyway. As Calvin, of the Hobbes fame, would have said for the situation – rats!

One way to be out of the rat race is to change our species! Yeah, for all we know, we might end up as the undisputed kings and queens of the pig race. Sounds yucky? Well that’s because we are presently at the bottom of the heap. As management philosophers would tell us, if you are at the top, you can throw up a lot of non-sense and there would always be people to clear it up and earn you the credit for their work.

In any case, with the markets opening up and globalization driving most local buses, conventional jobs are no longer ‘happening’. People are venturing into fields that were previously, well, not considered ‘a field’ itself. And yet, there are examples of people prospering in those ‘non-fields’.

When I was in college, all of us used to joke that the way ahead would be to build a temple in the city. After all, we grew up watching stones in the middle of busy roads end up becoming huge temples,  flush with funds, stature & ‘brand equity’. With millions of local and non-resident ‘believers’ leaving behind sacks full of green paper in the ‘Daan Peti’ of all such temples, the ‘return on investment’ would have been handsome and it wouldn’t have been long before we got featured in the Forbes list of world’s most powerful ‘spiritual businessmen’. Hmmm! Sounds almost divine.

Talking of divinity, how can we be too far away from mentioning women. (Hey! Don’t  look at me like that, you woman hater, there are some quirky Gods too, remember?) Yes, I once had, and still have, great interest in studying women’s psychology. I still believe that understanding a woman’s brain is the most difficult, if not impossible, job in the world. Being sure of my feeling being shared by at least half of the planet, I had then thought of opening up a counseling class; and help people get a better idea about the other half of the world. So that they could make informed decisions in life.
But of late, with my dadi and buaji visiting our home frequently and the resulting explosion of religious talks, I have now laid my eyes on the ‘career’ of a so-called dharma or spiritual gurus.

When one ooffice recently, my father did not have a second thought f them had come to our before ‘gifting’ a microwave to him. I learnt about it being a gift when no money every came from the ‘guru’ for the machine. Anyway, with most of them moving around in Mercedes and flying to US and Europe to ‘enlighten their disciples’ I should not shed many tears for a mere microwave. After all, it has gone to a person who is all about renunciation!

All scoffed and endured, the point here is that whether it is about connecting with God or with one’s own inner self or psyche, the process has now, unfortunately, become dotted with ‘consultants’, ‘gurus’ and ‘professional help’. Whereas in an ideal world, one’s own self, family and friends would have played that role. Without making us pay for their worldly desires. And most importantly, without trying to benefit from our emotions.