The other day, all the noise created by Big Brother and its smaller Boss finally got the kitlis talking about the format of TV shows. “What’s the point of calling it a reality show when the cameras are switched off in sandaas-jhajhroo (loo).
Indians ni aakhkhi reality tyanj dekhai jaai chhe. (The real Indian-ness is generally seen in the loos only) As they say, don’t go by the suites of a 5-star hotel, go by the state of public toilets to guage a nation’s progress”.
“Alya, don’t you have enough of the ‘show’ while going to work that you want it on television too?”
“Abey, that is to remove the mask of sophistication from fake artists.”
“Chhee, VIBHATSYA (gross)”
The conversation may or may not have moved towards much sense, but it got us thinking about the truth. Yes, do we Amdavadis have any sense of public etiquette?
That the nation of India as a whole too fails on that front can’t be much of a justification, can it?
So KITLI TIMES has decided to add its bit to the subject. And with that we definitely don’t mean donating a bit of us to public places. 😉 We wish to document and present the truth that we have always known; but have never been confronted with. Of course, keeping in mind the perennially zestful nature of KITLI TIMES, care would be taken to not take life too seriously. No one has ever come out of it alive anyway, right?
So then, here’s the story:
The KT team would be posted in FIVE of the most popular tea stalls at some of the most vantage points in western Ahmedabad. The ‘catchment area’ is arrived upon keeping in mind the fact that not only are the selected kitlis very well known and popular but also provide the best sample mix – comprising anyone between an IAS officer to a daily wage earner. Furthermore, because of logistical reasons, the magazine is presently unable to cover unknown kitlis at places like Odhav, Ghatlodia, Sarkhej or Ambli. The areas in question are University Road, Drive-In Road, Nehru Nagar, CG Road and IIM Road for the whole of March. (Oh yes birather, you are going to be watched by the Big Birather).
If you can’t better it, make it really bad, they say. So here is League magazine, with Ahmedabad’s first-ever reality show – CHAA KI AANKH. The editor of KT first apologises to her parents and then to all Amdavadis for choosing an almost risque name for a thoroughly harmless and fun contest. The idea is to be able to live profound truths of life through laughter. Profound truth like, kitlis of Ahmedabad produce more gas than that produced by the entire Krishna-Godavari basin.
Rest assured, the KT reality show is not a bagful of convoluted gas and like ever, does not intend to raise any stink. Pun clearly unintended.;-)
The KT reality show derives its name, as it is reasonably evident, from the contest being about people being observed at kitli (chaa) stalls. The purpose, is to observe the public conduct of our super-successful sales executives, design whiz-kids, Einstein wannabes, dreamy-eyed students and, of course, the common Amdavadis who love their cup of tea at the kitlis.
The winner would be the one who:
- Does not refer to ANYONE’s ‘pujya ma and pyari behan’
- Does not hold, adjust or scratch his crotch
- Does not have paunch and does not ‘spill out’ of the ‘moodhha’
- Brings friends of the fairer sex for the most number of times
- (Woman coming alone or women in group earn max points here)
- Praises the world the most / Criticises the world the least
8 KT representatives (all students) are going to start their work from March 1st. They would just observe behaviour, try and hear the conversation and note it down in their notepads / or message box of their mobile. More soon.
Come, let’s sip some gyan together.
Jonty Road ni Baithak
Somewhere, in the middle of Ahmedabad, there is a road called Jonty Road. The road takes its name from one Jayanti Desai, whom the pol kids call Jonty kaka. No one knows his age but he seems to be of the Gandhian days. Or maybe not; considering he is shrewd enough to call his kitli ‘Jonty Road Tea Center’.
The lucky person whose question was selected by Jonty Kaka this month is Jagrut Bakshi from C G Road. His question is:
“Jonty Kaka, who amongst Sachin, Lara and Inzamam would have the best farewell from ODIs after the World Cup? And Why? ”
Jonty Kaka Replies:
“Boagghas question. The question itself shows how little you know of cricket and cricketers. The best farewell would be that of Brian Lara. (“Because he would be playing at his home ground?” – Jagrut asks) “Alya nai. Because aapda waala retire-aj kyaan thaai chhe! (When do cricketers from our part of the world ever retire?) No retirement then what farewell haara-o ne. ”